Jersey

ok i really do not know why i wore my jersey this morning….out of the number of tops i got hnaging in the wardrrope…..twas such a harmless thing i did….you know the arsenal jersey? all red and white with the sign and fly emirate written boldly in front….yeah? BIG MISTAKE>

Right now on my bed thinking of what to eat….yo! i got options so free me…*rolls eyes*..am thinking of noodles, yam and egg sauce, or i could just go with pasta or rice….*thinking*…what do you think?…..anyways while am still making up my mind….recounting the day’s event.

This morning, having a set thing to achieve, i got dressed and left my house….walking out of the gate….had to walk to the junction because my stupid driver decided to take my 2013 Ford series on a ride without informing me, now i have to take public transport…..mtchewww. God is watching him. so i walked to the junction…on my way………..

Dude 1……’fine baby girl’

See i smiled. and i said…#

Me….’thank you’

Then i noticed lots of eyes were on me….you see i thought they were checking me out…as usuall. so i held my head up and did the hips walk…..feeling all fly. then i got to the junction to wait for a cab to take me to another park where i can board another bus to my destinatin…then i saw this dude walk past me eyeing me, then he stops and turns and walks back…

Dude2……’oh baby you fyn too much. i like your stlye. i want to get to know you.are you going my way?

ok now,….i have been standing under the sun for almost an hour and no cab yet was going my way and i was tired, my legs hurt and the sun was burning my delicate skin and this dude….old dude infact with…’it was white’ singlet and one goofy looking glasses and bounces like klint the drunk on stage….so i was not in the mood to have friendly chitchat on the road especially not with him……so..

Me……..’hell no….am not’

so i walked far away from him as possible. after another 15minutes i got into a cab….dude why are they staring at me? i took out my phone and tried to look at my face or maybe just maybe i have grown two horns or a third boob…….no am just theway i left my house. then i got down from the cab…..MISTAKE NUMBER 2. see i should have stayed in the cab and paid him more cash to take me BACK HOME! i had not even finished crossing the road and i saw the HOODLUMS! please do not for any reason whatsover decide in your right senses to have any form of conversation with a tout….you see them coming your way…take the sublane…or the otherway…i repeat…..run for your life. so as i was saying…..i walked on…and the i heard them…

Dude 3,4,5……’GUNNERS! GUNNERS! GUNNERS!

I had stopped believing the gyration was a praise…i learnt the hard way that it was a taunt…..and when i refused to acknowledge them it became louder and imagine…the crowd of people waiting for cab and the slow traffic of cars….all eyes were on me…i wanted to die. i prayed the ground would open and i would enter…but no…the solid earth remained solid. believe me i tried ..even almost jumping while walking.

dude 3……’ oh girl….why you de wear gunners jersey….dos gunners where dem don kick comot…you fyn girl go join them…you be mugu oh’

dude 4….’no mind am…..’

dude 3…”oh girl abi you no de hear something….oh girl?

dude 5….’ go house go tear that jersey now now…..’……..’weitin you de feel like for there……them done go you no go follwo them?…….

GUNNERS GIRL!!!…..she as she de denge de go…she de walka guruke……na gunners she de take pose….see mugu…go tear am oh…’..

i practically ran into the next cab wanting to escape the events unraveling in my very before. it was a silent ride of 35minutes, i refused to look left or right but i felt stares, like it was a hand on my shoulders pressing me down…..i sank deep into my chair and buried my gaze in my phone that had no network so i couldnt ping….no enough barr life so i couldnt even watch a movie….i was alone. then my next stop…the security guards smiled at me…one even winked….i sneered at him.      i walked  past some mechanics….and one of them had the effrontry…

dude 6….’ gunners girl…….see you……come mak i see you…’

i ignored him and while i walked i heard him saying some bulshit crap lik.e….’i de call you..you de form one thing…you think say you fine pass my car’……..dude i had to look back. it was one of those cars that was not recognisable and you couldnt even tell the model..totally beat up…..it was CRAP!….so i figured the dude was drunk and smoking some cheap and nasty shit. i moved on.    then i saw two dudes walking towards mi…..actually walking towards me…….and then i thought to myself…….’oh i should have totally learnt some artial arts skills from those jetlis and jackie chans movies…..so i could go riley up his ass if he touches mi…..and then he stops right in from of me….

dude 7…….’ you are walking briskly’……..*most def a statement not a question*……..

ok at first i was confused and then i slowly understood and i was like ….’WTF?…….oh yeah that should mean that am in a hurry…….i saw him forming some words and i hurriedly said…’bye’

see i had had enough…i got to the office, hile and signing some documents and trying to let out some steam….i felt someone’s hot breath on my skin and i look up and …..boy that dude sure needed a really strong breathmint…….he smiles with equally brown teeth and says….

dude 8……’gunners girl’……

i was fuming by this time…..i was literally boiling….

……..’oh baby…..your boys done run leave you oh….gunners for life….fine girl like you supposed….know…say……..’

i didnt let him finish….’ dude i am not a fan…i just wore a stupid jersey…JESUS!!! what is wrong with the bunch of you….its a shirt. just a shirt!!!…….

that left him agape. i stormed into the office and threw the documents * abba…i carefullly gave the documents to the lady with a stiff smile and stroled out*  ….and stormed out of the premises. i went home. took off my jersey and beat the hell out of it. i had the most renewed form of hatred for it now…..looking at it now…..’you are going to the dungeon for a really long time my jersey’……my anger…i dont even like football…but yet i got into major shits for wearing a jersey……jezz! nothing can give you such attention…..not even a tight dress barely covering your delicates and ho-rah….just wear a  jersey…a kicked out club jersey….*swearing*……..my God naijarians…..smh

 

 

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