Headaches!

Its been like 8hours and the loud sound of music is still on…with various Nigerian songs playing …don’t get me wrong …i love music…infact that’s one of my favourate past times…just put on the radio…*mostly at night…which i refer to as my midnight jamz specials…* they play such lovely *not rap and shitty songs*..but soul soothing,R & Bs..slow wonderful songs at night and then i sleep with it..so clarified..i love music…!
But right now…not soo much…my head hurts..why?
A tenant threw a birthday party for her nephew…and you know how kids party can get? With all the clowning and shit…, “come out” and “dance”…”in and out”, lwho won”…”girl or boy”,…and stuffs like that..*rolls eyes*…i never did liked parties like that.. Yeah!! am weird..bite me!!…
Am sure i didn’t attend those when i was a kid and if i did and i don’t remember..am sure i never participated..
Anyways…..my head hurts…shouldn’t the party be over already or something?…its been going on like forever…plus no light in the area *PHCN you try eh*…so i can’t be buzy with anything else…can’t even close my windows to reduce the noise..would die from heat!! Can’t even have a decent sleep…Mehn!!
Ya wanna know what i feel like doing right now??? ….*No!! not that thought that came into your mind just now..smh..it aint like that*……..*straight face*…ok!! Its definitely like that..
I feel like storming out there..having my mean face on..rip off the cords connected to the lappy and speakers…turn off the generator…beat up the clown…gag the Mc, pee on the wires, smash the cake…scare the kids….and smh at the parents…don’t they have something else important to do? Its been eight hours already for shits sake..and its not even friday…its thursday mehn…Christ!! Such…idleness…**.. Dear future kids..mummy is gonna throw you a wonderful pool party and you can have a slumber afterwards and lots of presents,an arcade..dance,a pinahra…a much funkier party ..not the everyday common nigerian kid’s party…i hated it..am sure you would too..mummy got your best interest at night…*mental thought for the future*….once am done i’ll be like..”There!!! Accomplished my short term goal for this evening..trashing the party..”…then i’ll sashay away..

*well…that’s just a thought!
As though the party aint bad enough disturbance..
Am in the room…lying down..pillow over my head…then sweet misus…watching a movie in her lappy…with earphones on….still has the energy to mouth off every lil scene…in awkward exclamations…like am not watching the movie oh…but i already know what’s happening…

Sweet misus…”Oh what’s wrong with him….why you come out…you don’t have sense…chei…see how you just die as goat now! Mumu man!!

Am like…”.*raised eyebrow*

Sweet misus…”Hey hey hey hey…..ehhhh God!!

Me…”WTF!! *murmuring*..whatever happened to watching a movie in silence…its not even football…even that i have to use every muscle in my body to handle such outburst.

Sweet misus*…”Oh boi see horse! E don red for you today..!
…….”Chineke!!……”Another man wife!!shakes hear head….then laughs hysterically……”Them go catch you for sikie-one!!

Me…”Arrrghhh what that hell??

Sweet misus…”What?

Me…”Eh..who..?? Oh nothing!!

*BTW…she was watching Game of thrones*
She was on constant replay of emotions and exclamations….i hear everything and i just wanted to scream…..”dude mehn…this is the 21st century….people don’t do that…well that’s only allowed to people we just brought from the village and aren’t used to modern facilities so they can hoooooooo and ahhhhhhhhhhhh and scream ye!!…..but come the hell on…you aren’t even in a cinema…..still people would look at you funny…ya gats to keep your cool in the public arena mehn…ya don’t know if the paparazis are watching…..yeah!! Sneaky bastards!!
Anywayz….i couldn’t tell her so i suffered in silence and bit my lower lip….i wondered the exclamations she would make if she was watching a scene they were doing it….* thinking*…aha!! I bet she would be silent on that part..taking it all in…or not…hmmmmm*thinks more*…

Still the buzz of the music..with “your waist,your waist all i want is your waist*…
Ok that’s it…!!

I got up and went outside…going to do the deed….just few steps into the scene and was just about to walk towards the noise……lo and behold…i saw the mafian gang…four brutal looking hefties…from the italian looking movies…only that these gangs had titties…sagged ones though…but mean assed faced…and a sneer…dude the way they watched my movement as my once quick brisk walk slowed to a strol and dragging of feet… And all the while am like….”i can do this! Ah can do this!!!…my alter ego that was giving me morale support just grew silent…
Pappy? Pappy? Where you @? Boost me up!!

Pappy…”Silent

Me…”Come on mehn! Its me and you remember?..

Pappy…”Dude iono what you talking bout…did i tell you to get your sorry behind up from the bed? I said sit back and enjoy the music…music is good for your soul!! Stupid!!

Me…”WTF!!Ho’l up.!! Ya just told me back there to rip out all chords, beat up the glown and shit..and and…

Pappy..” I always knew you crazy…plus i never liked H and O in the alphabets…most definitely in one word…ya going calling me a Ho..ama beat you up..don’t care if ya my alpha ego…*murmurs things i couldn’t hear*…i didn’t tell you shit*….am going to take a shit….*conscience goes silent*…

Me…”Blinks like a thousand”…offers a weak smile to the thug ladies….”hello”..
They sneer…
I didn’t remember doing a U-turn…but i realise am back on my bed, pillow over my ears…tears in my eyes….headache….and silent knobbing…

Pappy…”Yo!! Baby how you doing…see how bout that sandwich you promised me..

Me…”Fxxk off!!!

Pappy ….”Baby…come on i..

Me..”(˘̯˘ ) ( ˘˘̯) “….you are dead to me!! Dead! Dead! Dead!! I want my mummy…*wails!!

Pappy…..”Buh…

Me…”Eat shit and a pack of baby peewees and die. Infact may you shit iron…Thunder Fire You there!!

Pappy…”HMmmm…*mummuring*…technically you is talking to you you know that right?…

Me….”Straight faced me”..SHIT!!! fxxk me from the side…

Pappy….*ahem*clears throat*…..I..

Me…”Don’t even dream it….

.S …*nervous laugh*…well i talk to myself sometimes…yes!! I need expert advise…don’t be looking at me as though am crazy. Seriously tho..i mean it!!like you don’t have those moments with yourself…huh?…No? Are you actually shaking your head? Seriously No?…..SHIT!!!

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