WHAt Mama doesnt know wouldnt hurt her..right?

“Tonight …
We are young!!!! “…..we screamed at the top of our voices..
We danced around with our eyes closed.
We held hands and formed playful circles.
We tiptoed on cold sand.
Swarm in the ocean.
Rushed out barely dressed.
We drank from the icy bottle.
We laughed..we sang songs which we barely knew the lyrics to.
We drew our faces on the sand..
We buried our legs..and acted as though we were snow men.
We kissed our cheeks and threw snow balls at each other.
We snuck into the kitchen and stole leftover foods because we eventually became hungry.
We took out our skates and skated down the paths when the roads where made of ice.
We broke a arm, cried over it as we bandaged it.
We got invited to an adult’s party..we left without anyone’s knowledge.
We danced more..drank more..got stoned more…and we felt free.
Before the clock chimed midnight we ran off feeling like cinderellas..only that we didn’t have a fairy God mother to wave her magic wand.
Dawn of the morning..we got to school..barely listened through our classes and our heads pounded and eyelids were heavy…we needed to breath…
We got change of cloths in our bags…we snucked out..smoked at the back of the school, kissed our crush…snuggled up close and gave it up at the back of his car.
Barely before it was over..they forget us…
We hurt..we cry..we move on.
Mother’s warning words we don’t seem to adhere to.
We feel as though we are living the life and big’ol Ma is such a drag to us finding ourselves.
We get knocked up…carried under the scrutiny of an epilepsy light..our insides are turned inside out…we loose ourselves..we forgot we have an identity..
We let a tear drop..maybe two..maybe more. How far we’ve fallen from the path that leads true.
We go back home..feeling totally lost..
We need to find ourselves.
We take a step back…our lives flashing through our eyes.
We thought maybe this time would do differently.
But..we haven’t yet lived.
We go back out there..and do thesame damn thing that got us to the same damn places.
We were older..but no different.
We still danced at thesame places..followed thesame crowd of bad companies..did thesame horrid things that the virgin mary mother would let a tear drop everytime she thinks of us.
We didn’t care at the time.
“”Tonight…we are young”
We kept repeating.
We were digging ourselves deeper and deeper into that abyss of darkness that threaten to swallow us.
We wallow in self-pity..yet we still go back to were it hurts.
While mama slept…
We went to meet him who used us when only his libido was awake..
We thought it was love but it was fatuation.
We stole..we ran..we lied..we conceited..we envied..we boozed..we slushed cold beer on our faces..we puked..we stumbled over our feaces..we got right back up..joined the crowd..we jeered..we played..we rocked the party till the end..we staggered back home..reeking of the aftermath of the previous night..
Mama’s voice screaming at us..eyes full of tears begging us to stop straying into the land of no return.
We shut her out..we tell her we were just hanging out with church friends..that she shouldn’t ridiculously think you were partying out all night..
That smell she is perceiving is just ice tea and lemonade plus..on your way back we tripped and fell over gabbages so..our friend begged us to stay over because we sufferred a mild concussion..thus should explain why we are dizzy this morning.
Poor Ma believes..yet spews out words of warnings and advice what the outside world is..
We drum out her words..shuush her up by shutting the door on her face..shurning her privy into our personal space by ignoring her help.
We feel suffocated. Your rebel and move out. Our personal space feels encroached on.
Now on our own..we realise that the world aint a bed full of roses.
While Mama did everything to make us feel better, depriving herself such joy and luxuries so that we are ok..now alone..we can’t do all what we wanted.
We realised that life was hard.
We realised that nothing would be handed out to us in a platter of gold.
Those men who promised us heaven and earth grew tired and left us to our own devices.
The money we ĥäƋ eventually finished.
We used to look good..now we barely fed …
We partied all night..but now those parties grew stale.
We have done it all..been there and done that..kissed the boys and made them cry, broke a heart at our wakes..did the dirty..got beaten down and left down to wallow, we moved from place to place..partied like there is no tomorrow, felt what it was to be part of the world of sinful pleasures and vanity.
Did we satisfy ourselves…Yes! Physically..
Yet we felt a void..that bore a hole in our chest.
We are no longer young…this was no longer fun.
We had to grow up.
Do away with childish acts and behaviours and be responsible.
Knowing that this would bring us to our death.
Time has come for the grown ups to act it..and allow the kids to be at it.
We came to full realization after so many wrong turns..
Mama’s words came bursting through into our ears…we realized too late that that was a voice of reasoning.
With tears in our eyes..hearts remorsful…we bent to our knees..buried our faces in her hair…and pleaded for a second chance. Ma..accepted us with open hands and ushered us back in..thus..redeeming our broken paths and showing us the way to the light which we welcomed totally.
Years and decades latter, while we had our lil ones running round the house with their father at the study thinking up something intelligent..we vowed to teach them the ways to grow hoping that they don’t make thesame mistake we made.
As the youngsters reaches adolescent and signs of youthful exurberance raises his ugly head…we start that circle that our
Mothers started with us and their mothers before them and start before them..thousands of years ago…being that voice, that hand that would always want to steer them to the right parts and we prayed that our kids would do a better job that we did..and don’t have scars they can’t heal from..
They say..
What mama don’t know won’t hurt her right?
Well…the truth is..
Mama knows…she is the big fat lady that sings at the top of her voices begging for whoever has ear to hear her..
She knows..she was you, she was us..she made thesame mistakes…she found her way..hoping you would find yours back to her too..that’s why she hurts everything you brush her away..she knows…

.S..Don’t be naïve and stupid all your life. It might be over-looked somewhat while you are a child..once you are grown up..what’s your excuse?


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