Awhile Tis’Been!!

I know I know..
A whole month of the sept..rolled by without a word.
My bad earthings…life happened!!
So my sincere heartfelt..all the way to the core soul of my very being…totally feeling-apologises..*winks* the entire fan base.
So now that ..that is out of the way…
Let’s get down to business shall we?
Cool..why the hell not.
And business?..really I don’t know what or why I even said that. I really and truelly have no business intention today.
Infact I have no intentions at all..*stops short”..ok well I did initially but it sort-of flew out of my thinking window.
Anyways, how have ya’all been?
Wow!! That is a wonderful achievement. *am hopefully assuming ya’all are fantastic instead of thinking the worst”
*slaps ya’all invisible backs”
Keep it up fellas…your entire being depends on your ability to get off your ass and make something ouTta yourselfs. You dig?
Oh so were was I?
So yeah..its been ages I was all up in your faces..
Reason” I got sucked into the labour market..and it has been..experimentally-sorta-stressed-worthit-stressedagain- and sometimes frustrating-challenging and ofcos..knowledgeable. And
Well…its about time I gat to takia of myself and be my own boss you know.
Be that independent woman Neyo sang faithfully about..or was it beyonce’? *thinks*..can’t quite remember tho..but someone did let it all out in their dramatic album.
So anyways,…
Getting to meet new people, got to be at a different location…got to make some risk-taking decision, got to stand on my word and bore the consequences.
Basically, at some point in your would have to learn to put off or put away childish things and be a man/woman. Think maturely. Make a difference in your life. Stop depending on order people for your survival.
You know, within these short period..
I did realise some things…some mostly I experienced.
Some were good..some weren’t so..and others was so painful I never thought I would feel so alone at times, neglected or uncared-for.
But like they say..shit happens.
Shit did literally happened.
I could give one or two instances…I got burned by a dear friend I held high up the tree and felt..through thick and thin..our friendship would go through the fire but would remain strong and better refined.
Little did I know, through a careless act ..that I happened to witness that..that said friend..never had my best interest at heart..felt like a stab..a rugged-edge twisted knife to my heart. Too shaken to confront.
I rather have few true friends by myside than a dozen fakes and wanabes. I had to let it and that friend go. Which was the right choice.
So word for the wise..know who your true friends not be quick to open the doors of friendship. Its not snubbery or what have you. Its not..superiority or you acting like you can be an island on your own and you don’t need anyone. Its you been cautious.
Know them through and through. Because if you don’t..they would be the ones stabbing you at the back while giving you that angelic harmless smile in front.
They say Experience is the best teacher. I’d say. ” Its better to learn from other people’s experience” because yours tends to leave unhealable scars.
…That was one lesson I had learned in life.

Oh and the second…was a bit more hurtful. Yeah
You know that awkward moment when you have so many wonderful persons around you , which I might add includes both family, friends and loved ones?
Yeah cool.
And they are supposed to help, care and support each other?
Ok then.
Well, so envision that really low moment in your life..that extremely low point that made you reach out than you normally never..ever have done before. But circumstance made you go all out on a limp and ask…just for a lil boost of let’s say energy–which might help you at this low point in you life.
And you are shocked to your bones.
Not one ventured help. WeLl, not the ones you asked. And the really surprising thing was when you vividly remember words like ” if anything, just say..would do what I can’ no matter how little”
These was when you never even thought of needing help. You never thought you were ever going to be a a dire-bad situation you would need to say words that suggested you in need. And now that the situations called for it…
You get the shocker of your life..
One ” you were given conditions for the help..which suggested something untoward and morally wrong”
” You were heard and blancked..and never talked to again”
” You were ignored”
” You were smiled at and that was it”
” You were encouraged to hold on to your faith ” which wasn’t BTW bettering the situation”
At the end….” You were still in that point of LOW”
Lost of what to do.
And totally all out of options.

And that was the wake-up call.

It was like a literal reset slap to your mental senses that have been on a mad sleep for ages.

What did that tell me?
In these life…its a personal race.
Everyone can smile with you.
Say sweet things to you.
Tell you they would give you a ladder for you to climb up when you fall..
Yet when you do fall…they wouldn’t even want to help to even send you a ladder, to push it close to you or help you up.
You realise you are on you own.
You then ask yourself?
But a minute ago I had all the encouragements..
I had a word of helping hand whenever am in dire-need.
I had friends who said…in good times and in bad..we are here for each other.
And this very first needed someone to step-up and do what they always screamed down your ears for…
It felt alien to them.
You are blown away literally!!
People are your helping aids only when they are to benefit from it.
People cling to rip-off!
Some are good-willed and you get lucky.
Some others give to condition what they would get.
It was just playing all round my mind.
And the ones you don’t expect..end up being your calvary.
They just appear out of the blue..and you are entirely grateful.
But the hard truth…
Never depend on man.
Do what you can.
Never say…don’t worry, when that time comes, that my uncle that keeps saying when am through with school I shloud call him he would give me a job asap. You might be effed right back to disappointment. Or…that rare cliche’ just might be lucky.
Don’t say…” My friends are there to help me out”
They would turn their backs or say before I give you these you must also give me these..and what they desire in return might be much more than you began for”…
There are lot of instances..
But the basic point is…
Do not depend on people for success.
Do not depend on people for a way ahead.
Do not depend on man for virtually all that you desire. need to learn how to be independent.
Sometimes you need to work hard and achieve what you desire.
I do not not ask. Want or need something from others.
All am saying is…have a backup plan. Your plan A of people helping you out might flop.
You need a plan B to fall back on as I did.

I got off my ass.
And I made do with what I had.
I cut my lossess.
I gathered myself up.
And I channelled my energy to make sure I make it despite my shortcomings and that of others.
I have re-arranged my thinking faculty.
I have decided to do what I can.
I have chosen to hold no grudges..instead I have smiled and appreciated. Because at the end of the day..this would be my mottor””
“I thank those who said No to me on the way up” had made me achieve all these on my own with God by myside being my inspirational drive to the top. You didn’t do me wrong. You did me a favour”
I may not be were I want to be. But like they say..”Its best to start at a point so that later you can look back and be thankful for how far you have come”
I am not an island on my own..
I may be a strong person. Yet a strong person still needs someone to hold you hand, part you on the back and say everything would be ok”
And when you have no such encouragement..its really sad.
But am thankful for family and the wonderful gems of friends that still here.

I may have all these disappointments..but am sure they are preparing me for something greater.
So at the end..I am thankful for life and the will to go on.

Yeah fellas…
The young shalll grow…*as my mum used to say*
This is life as we know it..when life happens to see things differently..and have a biGger much more mature approach to life. You woundnt want to act rebellious and throw tantrums..
Instead you would put on your thinking cap…get off your comfort zone..dig deep into yourself and explore that area of your self that you have kept under lock and key and think you don’t have.
Tap into that genuis within…and be the star you were created to be.
The sky isn’t your limit..its just yous starting point.
Let the world be your stage..and fly to the heights you so desire.
What ever challenge you face..
What ever disappointments..what ever, who ever…do not be discouraged.

Its one step at the time baby!!
…On that note….have a luvly…what time of the day is it?
Er..never mind!!!
Be good!


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