He was about four years old when he began noticing the way his father treated his mother.
His father …”old Bart” as he was always called…was a huge man. Most people revered him because of his height. He spoke and commanded authority. You don’t want to say “No!”to Bart .. When he was asking something….especially when Bart was supposedly asking nicely.
Usually he would wake up to the sound of music coming from the stereo downstairs…his mother and father probably singing to Kenny Rogers or humming to yanni….but when she was alone she did a lil bit of Dolly Parton.
He would hurry down…as his mother will scream his name…and his father’s stomping sounds…The smell of bacon and fried eggs filling the air..and he gets a fresh glass of milk…
“straight out of the cow’s tits” his father usually says.
Some days it’s like this…sunlight entering the kitchen. ..Music playing in the background…The humming sounds…laughter…chattering and ofcos eating….After breakfast …He would rush up to take a bath and be back downstairs before his dad came stomping down the stairs… He didn’t want to take a headache to school…his head did hurt for a couple of hours atleast….his father never takes it easy on him…He says…
“You not gonna be a sissy while am alive”…
So he doesnt miss on any chance to tough him up some…
Some days lil Sammy hopes to skip it…like now….be there early and Pa Bart doesn’t knock your head with a baseball bat.
He would get dropped at school and Old Bart doesn’t relent to say…
‘Better dont be looking at those sissys and get a boner and dont pay attention to your studies. ..ama break those lil balls of yours and feed them to the ducks”
He always wondered why his father would say such a thing to a little boy his age. Plus…why would he be staring at lil girls and get a boner.
“Whats a boner?”…he always wondered.
He had no clue. It must be really bad for his Pa be telling him not to have one. So he would make sure he doent get.. one…whatever it was..while he stares at a girl. Pa sounds funny sometimes….
“You gonna study hard and make something out of yourself.”
“Don’t back down for no bullies.” Then he will reminisce. ……
“we had some back in my days. My old Man made sure I looked mean and became mean…I grow up really fast and big…and I learnt to box …After his training he would come home and box me into a pulp…until I was strong enough to take it standing”…..
“….Eventually. it stopped hurting…I learnt to block and hit back.Made my old man proud. the beatings stopped.””
“I became a man. You…will become one too. Not by hiding behind your ma’s skirt everytime you get a bruise and be crying like a liltle wuse. You got to man up and stop being a sissy.”
“If not …. Boy am gonna beat it outta you . You don’t run to women or allow them control you. Like they got your peewees in their hands. You treat them and keep them in their places. You hear that son.?” He demands looking at sam.
“Yessir! !!!.”…usually sam answers out of fear…wether he understands or not..
“So don’t let no sissy turn you into a clown. Be the man. Hit her if you have to …just to put some sense into her.”
Sam puzzled look…mixed with confusion and amazement. ..He never really understood why…but he better do what old Bart says…else it would be his head registered with resounding slaps.
His dad kept saying….
“Just like those bullies. Never come back home with a black eye unless the other dude got ….a blacker eye…than yours…..you hear me son?
Yessir”!!!!…..sam answers again with twisted emotions.
He looks at his father strangely like…
“Dude have you seen me??”…
” I look like a midget. Apparently the shortest guy in class…face too round for a guy and long lashes allowed only for sissies.”…
“who the hell will take me seriously let alone…believe i can hold my own.?”
I can’t even do a mean stare down because all the other kids will be laughing instead”
He rubbed his butt mentally….
So many times he refused to tell his Pa he got knocked up pretty bad at sch…He usually only tries to protect his face because old Bart might see the bruises from a mile away. But anywhere else on his body..only Ma does.
And ofcos. .she don’t like how Pa gets so she puts some soothing balm on it…and tells me to run to a teacher next time it happens and get those bullies nicked too.
Ma doesn’t understand these things. So he nods and buries his tearing eyes in her hair. Her hair always smelled nice. Makes him think of flowers…lots of scented rosy petals in a garden…
He gets boothed out of his reverie…
“Good!now get out of here. ” His Pa says…apparently done talking .
Takes out his cigar..lights it and pulps up some in the air. Sam jumps out of the car …it speeds away…chocking him in dust and cough.
Other days he would get woken up by voices…
He could hear his father shouting on his mother…
Apparently he had had one two many drinks and came home drunk as a cow…whch happens one time too often.
As always Ma had questioned this…she never gets passed the interrogation…
He would hear his mum’s muted screams…and his father’s heaved voice as he hits her or whips her with his belt.
Inbetween his father will say….”this will teach you to stay out of a man’s business”.
“I make this home …i bring in the dough and pay the bills…you don’t dare to run your mouth on how many bottles I take and how late I come home…you hear me you wench! !!!
He is behind the closed door of their room now.
And could really hear his mother’s muffled sobs. Then she tries to retort somthing….she receives a slap that sends her to the ground….falling like a heap of cloths…sobbing like a little girl.
After a few minutes he hears….
“Oh Susan! !! My sussy. ….see what you made me do huh?
He would gather her up in his arms and carries her to the bed..she be struggling to be left alone…He doesn’t listen….He hushes her up…and lays down with her.
Takes out his hankerchief to wipe her tears….If he injures her…He tells her to stay still…He gets a soothing balm and antiseptic from the toilet cabinet…and wipes the injured area clean…
“Relax darlyn…I know it stings”
“See I told you …I got a bad temper…you cant be butting in every now and then…up in my mans business…chocking me…am just gonna lash out. …see now….my beautiful gal all red eyed-up…” he says kissing them.
The kisses went from her eyes to her nose to her neck and her lips. At first she tried to pull away or push him away…He would hush her up with those soothing words….
‘you know i don’t mean to hurt you darlyn…am sorry..won’t happen again…come on now…. give us a kiss..just one….!!”
Eventually she stopped struggling …when he kissed her lips again….He lingered…she opened them up for him…before long….He was helping her off her cloths and helping himself with his…
By then….little Sammy would back get up…running to his room…He wouldn’t sleep for hours.
He would wake up and tiptoe to the room the next morning…to check up on Ma.
They woundnt be in the room. The smell of pancakes and waffles will fill the air…The sound of music…coming from the stereo downstairs. …One of dad’s favourite….”smokie” be resounding everywhere.
He walks into the kitchen….Pa wasn’t there…breakfast on the table….ma backing the stairs and hand in the sink…..The water running.
“Ma!…….He called out in a wisper.
She didn’t turn….He went closer…almost an hairspace from her…behind her…
“Ma??”……He called out….touching her…
She slowly turned…at first her eyes looked blank and distant. ..she stares at him blanky. ..not recognising…He noticed the bags under her eyes…and a tiny cut to her lip..though faded…
He shook her….Once and then twice….
Ma!! Ma!….ma can you hear me….??? Almost panicky.
Slowly recognition registered. …”Oh sam…my sweet boy!”……she had the most beautiful smile on….
You wouldnt believe only earlier she looked like a ghost of herself.
“Go sit down let me get you a glass of orange juice to have with Mr waffles and missy pancakes ok..?
“I made the faces in them just how you like it”….
she removes his hands holding on to both of her sides and shoos him to the table…
Sam’s eyes darted to his father’s empty chair and back to hers…..
She shifted on her feet….
Fear caught in his heart….
What was she washing off in the sink?
Her eyes darted from side to side. .
The front of her shirt had some red stains on it…His visions blurred abit and he stood behind his mother again…and peered from behind her …into the sink….
He saw Red. ..lots of it…dripping from the knife…as she washed it off…washing her hands too…when she was done she was staring blankly into space…tap running….she transfixed. ……
“Ma what did you do?….where’s pa?….fear in his voice now….
She opened her mouth…to speak….
They both jumped up as the back door…closed with a BANG!!!…
“Good…..breakfast with the lil guy and my very own miss sunshine”….
He ruffles Sam’s hair and spanks her on the butt….planting a hard kiss on her lip.
Sam’s beating heart went back to normal.
What the hell Ma!!!!!
He looks up as his father drew her to his lap and nuzzled her neck…then fed her from his plate. He indicated her shirt stained with red…she points to the opened tin of tomatoes on the table …that splashed while she used a knife instead of the tin opener she couldnt find. He nodded..and said…”silly girl! Should have called out to me”
“Next time”…..she mutters.
She continued smiling and eating. He told her a secret joke and she threw her head back in laughter.
He didnt get them…Both he saw that they loved each other.
Maybe his father was right afterall…
Despite everything,…mum can still laugh and kiss him.
So maybe hitting a woman is just a way to show you love them and they can respect you for it…and keep them in check
It didnt kill nobody. His Ma and Pa still loving it up. So its ok. Old Bart is never wrong. He grew up believing that.
With that buried and embedded in Sam’s head….He grew up with that analogy.
He learnt to give the boys tit for tat.
He did eventually learnt what a boner was..
…he was 13 then..and ..6th grade Natalie had come up to him and gave him a kiss…sitting on him during detention one period…took his hands to her lil oranges and squeezed….her hands went down and grabbed hold of him…down there….and moved her waist in a circular motion..
He felt different all of a sudden ….like something was growing out of him…she was smiling.
He looked at what the commotion was and noticed his peewee had magically grown…..and it felt weird like he was pressed but he wasn’t. …she rubbed him and it felt good…
Ofcos physical education teacher, Mr Lee came in …eyes glued to what he was reading so he didnt see Natalie jumped off him back to her seat.
He coudnt get up….not when Mr Lee told them they could go. It has gotten big and it pulled on the front of his short…as though it was struggling to get out.
When he was forced to get up and leave…Mr lees eyes shot out….Natalie didnt stop laughing. She giggled all the way to class…to her friends …to the whole school.
“Sammy got a boner because I kissed him”
“Mr lee’s eyes popped out of its sockets”
He was a laugh for awhile.
They had his Pa come in. He was suspended for a whole week.
He got about 20 lashes that day when he got home.
Later that night. ..to himself…He thought….”I finally got a boner”…He fell asleep thinking of Natalie and woke up with stickyness all his drawers.
He never told anybody. He couldn’t explain it.
He got to find out from his friends..A couple of years later…and the Internet…and playboy magazines and the whole bunch of other informative stuffs….
“He had a wet dream”…..
By then….he’s become a young informative lad.
He went to school and became a graduate.
Gotten a job and made something out of himself.
He was 35 years old now…a young businessman for his age holding up his own.His mother had died about 5 years ago…from depression the doctor had said.
His father died from drinking and driving 3 years later.
Lil sam wasn’t little anymore. He had outgrown the stunted midget growth. He wasn’t huge like his father but he got that atlethic build.
The lashes gave him that pretty boyish look..Blue eyes and thinned lip. Broad shouders…and slim waist. Taut buttocks…
He was gorgeous to the eyes.
And his smile was too die for….made all thr ladies swoon after him.
but he also.inherited his father’s toughness…and roughness and ideology about life and women….
Who could blame him….his childhood was messed up.
…..but when the new girl moved into town….it got him all messed up. He coudnt understand why….she was the only one who turned him down more times than he could count.
Every girl threw themselves at him…but she….
“Elizabeth blake”….she was the the only one who didnt give two rakes about him nor did she bother looking his way…
“Damn her.!!!….He was going to own her and have her….she was his to keep.
When Sammy was bent on a quest….He doesnt rest….not until he won the contest…and to him….Elizabeth was the best…among the rest….
Xoxoxo xoxo. ..