Someday…..Something true!!…

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Xoxoxo

That moment when you feel lost…Unsure of everything.
It’s not entirely your fault…the circumstances foretold it.

At first you had loved the view..falling was a beautiful thing…you embraced it with open arms..over time..you knew who wouldnt let go…just because. .it felt good for once…it felt safe too.

As time when by…pleasant things feel into pleasant places…you couldn’t believe your good fortune..it felt so real and unreal at the same time. Its Too perfect, sometimes you mused to yourself…but you never allowed yourself to think beyond all that…life was better without it..you concluded.

Barely few months in…the cracks on the wall became all too visible. The fairytale begining was all a mirage.
The harsh realities of life began to rear it’s ugly head..you couldn’t phatom the reason for all these…This wasn’t happening…No it really wasn’t.

But Yes it was…

It wasnt perfection from the very start…it was a perfect case of purposeful omission…which had dragged you in..and now you were so deep in…how can you let it all go…all up in flames….your heart was already soiled…prove of it is when it beats in hurtful beats…just from the thought of it all.

The pain..The hurts…the turmoil…you all had to go through. ..and the patience you had to tap from deep within to stay put.
But the lies…The secrets…The deleted details…all came back to form tiny pieces of the puzzle you once had some time ago…it felt wrong…you felt wrong…how could one be so calculatively minded…doesnt same heart beat within same chest…doesnt it see…The pain it causes in my own chest?

You throw in the towel…its time to let the boat go..no need trying to captain a ship that very well wants to sink…

You have put in your all…sacrifices..love..patience..understanding. ..trust…faith..everything you hold dear…and you have prioritised. ..there was nothing left…you even put in your 100%…what more is there?

Yet…meeting you halfway have always been big of a deal..
What’s the point when love meets up with lies…trust with disloyalty…patience with regrets…sacrifices with I don’t care…???

Yet…no matter how much walking out  the door seems a better option …one is being sulked back in…
Promises are made..to change things for the better..understanding is begged for the latter…but this too have become a routine you only know better…yet I should go…yes I should a million times I could have…a thousand times…I had stayed back…even I should know better.

A long time in….thinks haven’t changed for the better..
Don’t get it wrong…
When the laughter and love is there…you tend to Try to hide the pain..doesnt mean it’s no longer there.

But I wish…I wish…for once I wish…things would change for the better.
Too much in…I really can’t wager.
My heart has been crippled by the feelings within….letting go even at this point feels like a fool’s whim but what’s there to win?

Should I go..should I stay.?..that’s not a coward ‘ s saying. Sometimes a fight isn’t worth much when the battle be given to another and the spoils already know it’s owner.
Well that’s what it looks from my corner..

But yet and yet again…that hand holds me down..telling me…my sights are distorted..my mind is blurred…I really can’t  understand the correlation. ..I can see as clear as day..think as fast as a fox…why am I made to think otherwise.

End this charade…let me be on my way I plead. Forget the love the heart will heal someday.
Why won’t you let me go …let me safe the little part of me undamaged to the wills of it…
It causes me so much….all this has..

I remember …never to forget..

The countless times. ..I had asked to not make me regret.
The will to be honest…in this life no matter the distress.
The promise of truth…the trust of their youth…and all these was confirmed…. but I guess it’s a lie too?

If not…
Love is a commitment…trust and loyalty too.
Making the proclamation is nothing to hard to do.
Professing not just in the dark but in the light..is really a magnitude. .
A little more do…less talk…would have gone a long way too…

We don’t ask for too much…but really just for our right too.
You would have done thesame if you were also in our shoes…
It’s not a guess game…its part of our life’s  tool…
Unless I believed in paradise but really..was that a facade made out of lies too?

Now life and circumstances stand to take a stand too.
What do I do…when all the while I have been unsure too…
Not of me…but really about all you do..
You cant really look into my eyes and claim it’s not true..
I wish to go…forget the love I once wanted Due…
Mine is still intact…but I don’t know about you…

Don’t play the midnight fool..
Say it or leave it…I will be gone soon..
I have given my all…its only right I demand something equally too..
But even after all this while…you cant say nothing…I wonder what’s all the point to love..when we should say our goodbyes. .and I promise not to swoon.

Even at this hour…you won’t still let go of my hand…
I wonder really…why hold on to it …don’t bother..
It would be morning soon…my tears had run dry…I know in a few hours..we be apart like the stars and the moon…
Don’t promise…don’t make no utterances. …let the day come…let me forget you too..

I hear words…you speak them…I wonder if there are Lies too…I choose not to listen…I wanted to see your heart…that you hide behind hooded cloak…
So forgive me…If and when I go…I don’t look back just as well…

All I wanted. ..was to be  to you…what you are to me…
I guess I asked for too much..
Because you couldn’t even give it to me…
I am done lingering…its time to let go..
Hold my hand if you will….my heart is broken….the pieces don’t fit anymore…it loved fiercely. ..what it couldn’t handle…was the fact that…it couldnt tell…If yours loved it true.
That’s the saddest of its pains…

I don’t know what tomorrow brings…I wish to forget..but my heart bleeds..
But all I have is hope…but that too it’s bleak…
Let tomorrow come….
Let the sun shine…
I may not have my heart…
But I know…
Somewhere. ..somehow…someday…
I will watch it begin again…
And this time I pray…..its something true.

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