When you leave…

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Xoxoxoxox..

My nights were cold..
My heart became colder..
My eyes became blurred..
My visions even blurrier
Did you know how it felt..
All those nights..
So long ago?

Alone and distraught. .
Pained and in utter agony?
Did you care?
Did you even realise..
What your leaving did to me?
No matter how much I cried and begged and reached out…
You left and didn’t turn back…
So I know am gonna pass this…
This …whatever it is that’s making me choke for breaths and leaving me weak and dropping to my knees..
But I will get back up…
Stronger than I have ever been before..
So don’t come back..
Don’t ever..
When you leave. ..

I know I will..be okay
I know I have no regrets and no shame..
I loved you…and I lived for you..
And God knows I tried..
Tried so hard to be the loving and caring person for you..
Loving you despite your shortcomings and limitations. .
Despite your imperfections and silliness. ..
And yet you didnt even bother to love me right back..
You took my heart and smashed it right on the ground..
Like it was something worth nothing..
But guess what..
Am gonna be okay..
Am gonna pick up my broken pieces..
And piece it up right back..
You have melt my heart to stone..
So don’t come back..
when you leave. .

Did you remember my constant calls?
My like a billion unanswered messages..
And bounced off back to me..emails?
Did you bother to read them..or you just hit the spam button or deleted them like trash?
Did you know I poured my heart into it?
Did you care..
How long i waited by the window..
Hoping when you pass by on a daily you would just look up and smile..
Knowing I would be standing there..
Waiting. .
Waiting as i always have been..
All this while..
For you just to spread your hands so I can run right back in..
Like I always did..
Did you know you were my safe haven..
Where my happiness was. ..
Did you realise?
Before you locked me out and threw away the keys..
Left me by the sidewalk while you carried on without a care in the world..
Did you know I died and woke up again like a million times when I watched you smile my smile..
Gave my lips..
My body..
My heart to another..
While I watched from the sidewalk with tears stinging my eyes…
Do you know how I felt..
Still wanting to forgive you all your misfits..and wrongs..
If only you would come to your sense..
Was I stupid?
No…I was just one inlove..
And love forgives all wrong..
And forgive I did..
When you came back again and again after tossing me out again and again..
Toiling with my emotions and playing with my heart
But funny thing..
Whenever you leave..
You made me crawl and beg and you didn’t give a shit..
So don’t come back..
This time…enough..Don’t ever come back..
When you leave. …

I am done waiting for you to see me and not right through me..
Am done loving you wholeheartedly and giving my all while you run around town messing around..
Break up with me and come back every single time when you are done having fun and your fill…and beg with those crocodile tears that always seemed to melt my heart and take you right back because you know my heart loves you like that…and then you go right back being an ass and break me all over again..
Am done being stupid inlove..
Am done being broken and mended like a million times..like I am made of broken pieces. .
I deserve better..
I know that..
And you are gonna ruin me..
Because you don’t love me like that..
Love me enough to love me and only me..
You just like the idea of me being around to take you right back and when you see a new cookie pass by you are off the wagon and dusting me off like I never was a thing in your life..
So baby..
Am done..
Don’t come back..
Don’t miss me..
Don’t send me those love messages you picked up from a love book
Don’t tag me in those inspirational quotes..
Don’t cry over the phone telling me you love me…
Don’t lie that it’s over and you would do right by me..
Don’t appear out of the blue bearing roses you picked up from a forgotten stranger’s sidewalk..
Forget me..
Because if I was all that you needed..
You wouldn’t have let me go a thousand times before..
Whatever we had..
Is what it is..”HAD”
You left so stay gone…
Am done…
Am moving on..
To find someone better..
To be happy..
And have someone to love and fight for me as I did daily with you..
To find that one who letting go of me would make them incomplete. ..
So baby. ..
Just because you left..
A thousand times before..
Keep walking..
Don’t look back again..
This time..
I won’t even care..
Because the love for you..left just with you as well…
So this time…
Don’t come back…
When you leave. …….

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