I never quite understood who I was
I didnt understand why I was what I was
It didn’t make any sense…
But then again I wasn’t much of a thinker..
I frequently pushed it away from my mind ..
I wasn’t a freak
But I wasn’t exactly normal either.
And I so wanted to live a normal life..
Just like every other person. .
How do I explain to my family the things I was seeing..
Or was I even imagining..?
Am I crazy??
Maybe I am..
Because am not quite sane either..
How do I explain the unforseen things I saw…
How do anybody see those..
Most times I woke up as if am in my dreams..
But other times its just deja vu
Or a trick of the mind..
It started over a month ago..
When I turned 18..
I had woken up …feeling choked ..
I had cried out..but no one heard me..
I was fighting to keep my head above the water. .
Eventually I sunk in…choked to death and out of breath..
I was dying.
Maybe I even died..
And then I felt it..
My back landing on hard granite. .
For that hard fall i was surprised my bones didnt break..
I had immediately become dry..
I was in the middle of the road…
I saw the car..screeching off the pavement..
And the little child who ran into the road to pick up her rolled ball..
I saw the cart of goods dancing in the air. .
I noticed the broken bottles and someone’s eyes..
What did this all mean?
I stood there as though invincible..
No one heard me scream..
When the truck trying to avoid the scene crashed into the eatery filled with the party poppers. .
While it slid and was coming right for me..
I had bent down holding my head in my hands. ..
This is the end..I thought. ..
I felt the impact..
The jolt threw me.
The pain excruciating. ..
I was numb and I couldn’t feel my legs..
I was in the hospital. .
But I was cold..
And there wasn’t space enough to move myself…
I was suffocating. ..
What is happening?
But there was no one there to give me answers..
I began to cry..
It felt as though I was confined into a space. .
I felt them pull me out..
I heard them talk over me..
Why was my face covered all of a Sudden. ..
All I see is white light and shadows and hear voices in my head…
I was moving but not walking ..
I heard the cries..
And I heard them say prayers..
Just before the sand of shoveled sands hit the coffin…
I cried and hit..hard
But no one heard my muffled pleas..
I couldnt breath. .
I slowly felt my life seep out of me..
I fell into a deep sleep..
Waking up to soft grassy earth..
I had no shoes..
My hair was dishevelled as though I was out like a ravaged cave person for days..
What in the world is happening with me?
It felt as though I was living and dying and waking up to nothing or replaying someone’s life. .
I walked out of the forest…
I followed the light to the end of the tunnel..
Once I came out..
I saw it..
I didnt feel the pricking of the hard stones causing my feets to bleed …
I didnt feel the stings of the insects trying to have their fill..
I smelled of clean soap..
Even my cloths looked nice..
I walked and stood at the entrance of the building .
It was a glass house..it was all mirror
And it was suspended a few inches from the ground. .
And all its reflections was of me…
But something was utterly strange about it..
Though I saw me..
I knew it was me..
I recognised my face…
But then again…it was a reflections of me in different stages and phrases of my life…
The begining , the present and end..
What sort of magic was this?
And then..just like a motion picture…
It began to play ..
Images, pictures. ..everything about me…
I began to understand slowly..what it meant..
The past and flash forwards of me..I saw it all..
Now I trully understand what each means..
What I am
What I am supposed to do
What I am meant to be..
My life may have just ended .but it has also just begun..