New Directions…

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Xoxoxoxoxoxxo

It was the longest journey I ever did embark on…
It drained the very essence of me.
it threatened to pull down all of my  defences..
.my  immunity defences against it couldn’t even stop it..
it was faster than a speeding bullet..
Than the speed of light..
It was spreading all its tentacles.
It was promising..
it looked real..
but it was all a mirage.

It wasnt there..
little i did know.
Realisation suddenly dawned on me..not without  it being drummed into my head though..
it brought with it inner peace…whilst the regrets tried to associate itself..bringin out its ugly head…i pushed it down with all i’v got..
Because it wouldn’t do me any good..
The earlier i realised that..The better.

Letting go was the hardest at first
but then i refused..
I did believe hanging on by a thread was the best…..but that was just  blind as well.
i see clearly now..

So with renewed strenght and determination coupled with the utmost urgency..i ripped it out… my doubts and negativity..and  tossed it out..
Dusted my hands and laughed.

It felt good to be rid of such..
Saying..
“good riddance to bad rubbish”..i screamed.

I looked around though..just then..
hoping there wasnt any peeping toms to laugh at me.
After making  Sure there wasnt..i continued my quest.

Finished!
I took a stroll down to the beach, sat on the sand..allowed the sun to tan my skin..whilst eyes hidden behind sun glasses..cold skyblue water…found its way to my feets..tickled my toes as the ocean moved with the currents..
i relaxed.

I had cancelled my appointmnts.
So this was me giving into myself..
This was me..putting me first.
This was me..being me..
And I intend to do that without being bothered…
I intend to spread my delicate wings and fly.

Back in my room,looking  for some form of activity..
Having  tired of movies,books and all that.
I wished for what else to do.

I took my bag..went to the balcony, pulled a chair out,  sat on it..took out a note pad from my bag..mused over it a lil..then fliped open the first  page.

I had had this blank empty notepad for ages and i hadnt ever thought to jot anything in it ..not even an “hello”
Now i was in the mood to look within myself and pay a little attention to me.
What did i want?
What happens here on out?
What do i focus on?
How do i regain that feeling of joy i just lost..?
How do i give back to myself??

So many thoughts  .
Maybe i should just write
Whatever comes to my head..
Maybe something about the past..
The present..
Or the future..
I wondered ..

Then suddenly my face..curved into a smile….my eyes lit up..i started to jot down. .
And as usual. .with such things…
It begins with..
“DEAR DAIRY,
…………..”!!

*She poured out herslf..
she took it step by step..and with everyword..it told a story..it came alive!….
She felt new
More at peace
A different person
She new the future was bleak but bright
She new she woundnt let nothing put her down for long without her giving a good comeback. .
She knew she was made for greater things..
So she embraced herself…
And she lived for herself..
Not for anyone else…but for herself. .
And she was going to be just superfine.

This was her giving her life a new meaning…
New  directions..and she was loving everybit of it.

“GUDDOS ” i said
“..WELLDONE KIKI….WELLDONE!!”

As I watched her take a better turn for her life .
And I knew no matter how life threatens to pull you down..
No matter the stumbling blocks..
The obstacles and lope holes. ..
It can temporarily put you down.
But you would pick yourself up…and rise again.
It doesn’t matter how you fall..
All that matters is that you get up…

I smiled and moved away..
My work is done here.

Who am I?
They call me..
“HOPE”!!!

….

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