No More Sorry!!

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Xoxoxoxoxox

Another word of it..
Another word and I swear I would scream
I felt choked
My head felt as though it had been smashed into a million pieces .

How can you keep hearing something for a thousand times ..
Playing all over in your head like a constant buzz of bees..
How can it not make you go crazy..
Like the sound of uncorked running water..
like the horn of cars out on the street..
Like the endless chatter of those noisy kids
Like the endless battering of the goldsmiths

Every single wrong came with those pleas
Every accusation came with those unremorseful taunt of saddened faked pleas…
Not another sorry..
I was tired of your constant sorry(s)

Your words seem more like a religious duty that your heart is never in
Words said to abate my supposed anger and not to press
Words said to calm the water not to overflow and sink you in it
Words said just because it’s meant to be said not because you actually believe..

What’s the use to keep saying it
What’s the use to keep laughing at my face when I silently accept your disjointed pleas that has not a part of you in it..
What’s the point of listening when you threw it like a cloth to my face hoping it cloaks me from viewing you as you are..

Your sorry is like a dagger twisting in the wound that only you caused.
Your sorry is like a constant bashing of my head to accept your wrongs
Your sorry is not an actually sorry
Your sorry is just a sorry because it’s a word being used to sooth one’s error…
But does it cause the person to change..
Make the person better…

You say sorry just because you were caught
Because you couldn’t run as a mouse jumping over a trap
You say sorry because I would forgive as gullible a person that I am
You say sorry because it’s supposed to mend all that is wrong…
While you go on ..continue in that very act.
You say sorry because it breaks down my defences..
You say sorry because I won’t stay angry with you anymore..
But that’s just it…
A word when it comes to you…
‘Am sorry”…to shut me up while you bask in your disguise..

Not another word of am sorry
Not another word of such calculated act of yours
No more am sorry
Keep it
Take it..
And get out..

Am sorry never did me good
Am sorry never changed you
Am sorry never stopped you
Am sorry only caged me and blinded me with lies
That got me glued to you and didn’t see you were as black as the darkness could be
It only made be oblivious to the perception of things..
Am sorry just made me forgive you over and over again of your wrongs. .
It never stopped you from causing the wrongs every opportuned time you got…

Am sorry was just bullshit to you..
Because it was your camouflage
Your hiding
Your free pass to my forgiving heart…

But guess what..
Am done with your sorry (s)
Am done with an unrepentant heart
Am done with an undermining person..
Am done with your sorry

So no I don’t need another sorry
I don’t need to forgive you
I want you to take all your sorry because am done with them
I have so many “Am Sorrys” from you I don’t even know where to keep them
Remind me to pack them and give it to you too
You won’t be dumping no “Am Sorry” ..
On my lap no more as though all I am is a piece of “sorrys”

So please not another word of am sorry
I have one less problem without you..
Am am sorry am not sorry to trully see you for who you are. ..
Am not sorry for picking up myself and seeing my own worth
Am not sorry for regaining my life..
Am not sorry for being who I am

So please. .
Not another sorry..
You can take your sorrys. .
With the baggage of unfelt sorrys..
And take a walk out of my life…
Am done with all of that.
I don’t need no more sorrys in my life..
So please not another “Am Sorry”! That don’t mean shit coming out of you.

Peace!!!

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