The Big Elephant in the Room!!



I sat by the corner. .reading a novel I absolutely had no interest in..I was just passing time while I waited for my always   late to everything friend..I swear that girl would be late for her own funeral.
Our movie was for 3:36..
I got here like 3pm…
I already bought our popcorn and drinks…just incase …
I needed to watch Spectre. ..I didnt want her to dull me..
It didn’t matter that I actually told her to get here by 2pm…
It was 3:15 and she wasn’t even close to being anywhere close…
Last I called her she said she was…
But I could tell she was lying..
It vibrated through my body like shock waves

I shouldn’t have told her I was going to the cinema. .
But she would hate me if I didnt. .
Me being the good friend decided to treat us to a movie and popcorn and later karaoke bar and chicken and chips at the Office…
But I would kill her if she dares ruin this moment for me..

This was the only day I could get off work this week..and this was the last week it was going to be showing. .
I had prepared my sick speech for awhile ..
So by 6am this morning..
Instead of running into the toilet like a mad woman. .
I had screamed and shouted till my voice cracked..
Pinched my noise till it hurt and turned red..
Rubbed my eyes with a pinch of rub to get it to water …Swollen  and red..
I wound my muffler around my neck..
With gloves and socks..and a hot lipton tea in the mug..
And waited. ..
At exactly 7:05..
The video call came in..

“Ada..where the hell are you…
You should have been here like 20 minutes ago…”

I began to work my magic..
Mr sniffles came on with hard throttle .
The rub took full effect. .
The stream of water running down my eyes could fill a bucket..
My voice sounded as though I ate a frog..

He had squeezed his face somewhat. .
Even turning his eyes away when I blew a mountain of cartah from my noise..
Which was just butter..Blue band to be exact..
And I began to shiver and then cough…
Causing my teeth to make chattering sounds. ..

“Hain Ada…why didn’t you just call in sick eh??
“Have you taken drugs??”

“Yes sir I have but ..bu. ..but…Achurmmmm!! I sneezed.

“Sshhhh…its okay.
Don’t talk.
Stay and get well..
I would get a replacement for you today.
And I had important meeting with the investors in the afternoon  oh..and I needed you to cover for me…but this one you are sick. .and this meeting is so important and this one Oga is out of town he wanted me to sit in for him you know…
Are you sure you can’t come in at all? ?

I coughed and coughed and sneezed and sneezed and squeezed my eyes shut to force my entire fountain of tears through…

“Ada Please try and go to the hospital oh..
This one pass me hmm..
Hain don’t be sick oh…
See you tomorrow okay? ?”

And the screen went blank.

I laughed.
Well that was easy..
I brought out my phone and took a quick Selfie
Just incase the HR needs prove of sickness..
You have to be prepared..

Then I frowned..
Imagine. ..
The man couldnt even give me the week off self…
So heartless..
I sighed. .

I smiled again…
My day was going to be aka – fantastic. .
I squealed.

Fast forward hours later..
Am still waiting at Spar for that girl..
It was 3:33..
I sent her a text..
“ going in…when you get in…buzz me..
And if you don’t come here at all…
Run for your life. ..
Abi you think say person dey pluck money for trees??”

I got up and walked to the entrance of the movie room..
The small crowd at the door was expanding…
Shoulders rubbing shoulders..
Legs hitting legs..
I unconsciously folded one hand across my chest and used the other to press my bag to my butt..
You can never be too careful. .
I needed to protect my delicates from access and thievery..
It wasn’t too long ago some man couldnt find his manhood after walking through a small crowd of people in the market..
And this was December. ..

I pinched my delicates two minutes apart to make sure I could still feel them..

I finally seated at about the exact moment the adverts started…
With a huge smile on my face. .
And popcorn in my mouth…i sunk into my seat and goshed over Daniel Craig and his awesomeness. ..

10 minutes later my phone buzzed..
I sighed as I had to tear my eyes away from an action scene.
She was outside. .
I replied telling her i dropped her ticket with the door lady..
Tell her your name and she would direct you….
An okay was replied.

I was going to squeez her ears I made a mental note.
Five minutes later while cheering with the crowd…and saying how James bond is a definition of cool being a bad ass…
I noticed two people sit down on my line of seat…and a nudge to my side. .

I turn and the silly friend of mine was smiling. ..
“Hey you..
Sorry am late..
My friend and I got held up…Ahem….”…she was smiling broadly as she wispered in my ears…

I rolled my eyes..

As long as you are here.
Besides you didnt tell me you were coming with a friend. ..
I thought we both were supposed to hang out…”..

Maybe I would have to cancel the karaoke with chicken and chips.
I ain’t paying for no third uninvited mouth.
That shit ain’t happening. ..

“C’mon bae…Relax. ..
Trust me it would be fun.
Besides. ..
Three isn’t really a crowd”…

Ofcos. .
When you ain’t paying a dime. .
Everything goes. .
My eyes turned to slits
I began to murmur nonsensical under my breaths

“Oh…Forgive my manners. .
Lemme introduce you…

She tapped both of us…

“Ada meet Charles. boyfriend
And baby meet Ada…my best friend”

Our hands met and shook just as our eyes met..
Recognisition dawned..
And we began to stutter like stamarers

And we let go off our hands. .
And faced the screen like robots. .

My friend seemed oblivious of what just happened
She was clapping and squealing of the stunts being pulled. .
Drinking her coke and throwing popcorn in her mouth
While we both just stared..
eyes darting from side to side looking for an escape

I swear I didnt concentrate after then.
When the movie ended. .
I took a raincheck and went home with the guise of a running tummy
He equally gave a flimsy excuse and left

The next day..
I was bright and early to work
And as we met at the entrance of his office
We locked eyes
We remembered
And even without speaking we knew and there and then we decided even without words .. to never speak of it…
Take it to our graves if needs be. .
And we both walked away with a brief nod of understanding. .



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