Troubled waters don’t stay still..


Troubled waters don’t stay still.


I thought I had stopped feeling. I thought I pushed all those feelings of hurt and pain away.  Locked it into my box of bent up emotions and threw away the key. Forgotten . Lost at the sea. Never to be remembered. Never again to shed a tear. To long.. to yearn.. to feel .
But life had a different tune to that atmosphere.
It’s wasn’t love at first sight. It was attraction. Then it knocked me off my feet when I least expected it. I had swooned a thousand times just staring at his beautiful face and then fell inlove with his heart that ozzed all that made me tingle from my insides all the way to my feet.
I had butterflies that sang and danced . I never could stay still .
I lived for what we had. I fell hard and long. I was happy. We were happy. Or so the facade led me to believe.
Trully things aren’t what it always seems to be.
We had laughter. We had love. We had fun. We had us. We had peace and then he had her. And everything went to shits.
All our years of tranquillity and togetherness crumbled to that little piece.
I had waited too long. Given too long. Wanted too long.loved too and worked too long to let go what I had thought was mine.
But the wrongest battle to the one you fight alone..and the one who you are fighting for..leaves you all alone.
It’s being awhile you shut that door of pain and hurts. You sank. You lost. You gave up when you were let go without a thought .you held on only as much as you could. Eventually letting go was the only option that would make you survive. And you gathered the pieces of your heart and locked them in a jar of broken hearts and let it flow away to the sea. Forgotten.
Or so you believe.
Love in itself is a force one can’t trully leave.
Now you stare at the message begging you for a chance. You remember all the chances you have given that he still let go to waste. You know you deserve better. But the heart wants what it wants. But the hurts never stops.
Where will it go from here.
Do you give another chance that still hits you back in the face. Or do you keep walking away till he fades.
You thought you have stopped loving. Claiming hate to overshadow the love.
But the tears roll down your eyes. And you wonder why your chest feel congested and why your heart won’t stop beating ..and your feelings won’t calm  down.
Just like trouble waters don’t stay still.



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