They say your life flashes infront of your eyes when you die..
They say it plays backward in vivid flashes …and then eventually comes back to that very moment where you are lying lifeless .
They say you see a tunnel and a white light at the end of it..
They say ..
But no one really tells you how you feel when the person you care about feels lifeless in your arms.
No one actually tells you how to react when that fear grips your heart,
No one has ever explained to you the pain you feel when the fear like claws grabs your beating heart and squeezes..
Much the way it’s doing right now with me..
Just much thesame way I feel..
My sweet Amara, her intoxicating smiles always pulls me in.
The way her lashes flutters over her eyes that sometimes I wish her eyes covered mine.
The way she calls out to me even without words, staring at me knowing that all my resolves breaks when she is near.
The times I see her like shadows infront of my window . Or the times she lies with me in my bed, the surge of electricity I feel just being near her.
The want, the desire, the urge and the amazing intensity I know I would feel just being with her… but the overwhelming need to protect and shield her from the lion within me keeps me at bay…
But it doesn’t stop my beating heart when I stare at her soft lips. Or not observe the glow of her delicate fair skin…
But most especially the music that is her laughter. ..
Amara is many things. …. but just one…. “beautiful” to me and I know I would love to still see beneath her beautiful and still love the view…
But the person lying down here in my arms….is different…
Like a broken bird, scared of the world..
And my heart breaks..
I know something is wrong…
If only she would open her eyes and tell me..
If only she trusts me enough
If only what I fear isn’t what is happening..
Just if only…
“Amara”!!!! I call out her name softly. I had lifted her off the ground and placed her on the chair..
Thankfully there was a glass of water on the table, I reached for it and sprinkled water on her face, softly calling out her name. My heart broke over and over again. The fear tickling my doors.. “Oh God please! !! Oh God please!!!! ”
I kept muttering ad I shook her gently …
I heard her moan. .. turning her head to the side, squinting her eyes as she used the back of her hand to wipe her face…
“She is waking up”… the voice said behind me. I tensed. Not staring at him. Amara came first. I would deal with him later…
“Amara??” … I called again as she opened her eyes… I tried to her sit up..but she hits my hands away..
As though for a second she didn’t know who I was…
“Hey Amara, it’s me Bruno. . Relax. It’s me. I won’t hurt you”… I touched her arm.. but she moved away. Her eyes darted to me and to the person behind me. Then her hands flew to her chest and then touched her area… quickly.. too quickly and then she sits up putting her legs together, shifting to the end..
Why did I feel completely uncomfortable with the movement she just made. Why did I feel there was something more to her fainting. … why did I feel …
What did I feel.. what was it??
I didn’t know… but that nagging feeling behind my head wouldn’t go.
I knelt down before her. . Peering into her face..
“Amara are you okay? What happened. Why did you faint.? If I didn’t catch you on time you would have hitten the ground hard. Tell me.. talk to me.. what’s the matter. You can trust me… Amara look at me!”…
Her eyes were to the ground …when I touched her she was shaking….
I sat down and pulled her to myself. , she struggled to be let free but I didn’t listen. I didn’t let go untill she calmed herself..but she didn’t say a word…a tiny tear dropped on my arms. ….
“Amara, what’s going on.. If you don’t tell me …how can I help you “??
“Erm…. h-her mother isn’t feeling too good. I believe that’s why she is like this. When I came she was all worried and shii” …The voice said towelling over us.
I looked up at him. My mouth opening…but just in cue, a shadow crossed my vision..
“Ha… my son Bruno. Er junior. You came to see us?… Ha Amara!!!”
She rushed to me, I released Amara into her arms..
“What happened Ama.
Bruno, why is she like this..??”
I looked at junior and at them…
“I came and met her–
“Amara has been pretty worried about you mama as you weren’t feeling too well. I guess it took a toll on her. Don’t worry “… Junior cuts him touching Amara on the shoulders. I stiffen …. as though he touched me. But my anger was becoming visible.. I folded and unfolded my fist.
“Chei Ama… am fine now eh. Sorry. My daughter. My Ada. Mummy is ok . Mummy won’t faint again.. okay. Don’t cry. I am fine. See Bruno have come to see us. I am fine okay.. Ama don’t cry again . I won’t make you worry. Watching me all night. Ama??” She rubbed her head, wiped her eyes with her cloth.
“Amara, ewor-tala? I won’t again ok. You understand. Baby.. answer mummy naw”
Amara managed a nod.
“Mama, are you feeling ok. Should we go to the hospital? ?”
Why didn’t Amara call , even if we weren’t close and all. But atleast why didn’t she call if she was having trouble. Why do I feel like shit.
“My son it’s nothing. I am fine.”
And Amara is fine too. Right Ama??”
She managed another nod. Her eyes were dried. She touches her mother’s face. And manged a third smile…
“Oya come and eat. I know you haven’t eaten anything since morning. Mummy would feed you okay??”
“Amara…. get up … go and eat. And remember what I told you… try and take care of you as I said. Okay Amara”… Junior says touching her arm again. .
What the Fxxk was he doing..??
“Mama, Amara .. let me go. I will come back and check on both of you. I just have to escorts junior ..out. he has something important to do”
“No I don’t have anything inport—
“Dude just walk” … I said through clenched teeth. The look on my face told him not to protest.
“Ok my son. Thank you.”
I let him walk ahead of me till we exited the door.. a few metres by the bend.. then I grab him by the collar and pushed him to the wall..
“Do you mind telling me what the Fxxk you did to Amara??”
“Bruno TF mehn.. let me go”
“I swear I would ram my fist into your face..
This is the second time I am seeing you close to her in one place and she didn’t look good afterwards. … what did you do to her junior. …don’t make me design your face. .. ”
He pushed me off. I pushed him back to the spot. …lifted him off the ground for emphasis. .
“I didnt do anything to her Bruno . How you gonna accuse your home boy of doing anything. We brothers mehn. Don’t let some chick come inbetween 20 years of friendship mehn…”
“Wrong answer bro!!! Why were you here junior….why? What happened with Amara??”… my hands were folded into a fist and behind my head..ready for impact.
“Hey Bruno… chill dude…WAIT!!! relax. Nothing did. I swear… I swear….. I fxxking swear!!!”.. his hands covered his face.
I let him go. Arranged his shirt…but pined him back to the wall..
“What were you doing there…??”
“I- I was in the neighbourhood. Ran into a friend. Timothy. .. you remember timothy from back in the days… He was with some chick so we got talking and all. After he left I saw Amara sitting down outside and her head in her hands…and I approached her. Then she told me that her mother was sick.. erm… During the night so I walked in so I could see her…you know..
The – then. … she was still sleeping but Amara didn’t look good. I offered to call you but she didn’t want me to worry you….but she didn’t look great herself. …..and as though God would have it. …you came….and everything went to shits..
….”I swear that what happened. The whole truth. Dude…. I swear”
I looked him in the eye. Junior wouldn’t lie to me…especially when he was inches away from getting his face punched in.
Some part of me screamed foul play. The rest believed him. I have known him for ever, he was my boy. My friend. My brother.. i sighed..
Running my hands over my face. I stepped away from him..
“Am worried about her. Like she is going through something more and she doesn’t want to tell me”
He taps my shoulders lightly…
“Yes I get. I forgive you almost fxxkup”!
I look at him, he takes his hands off.
“Relax Bruno. . What I mean to say is that I get you are worried. You are even too worried for a girl who you ain’t even screwing. Am I to think now that you want her that way bro??”
“You deserve a punch in the face and more for saying that junior. Are you stupid. Am being serious here you are talking about Sex. Do I look as though am thinking of raming into her. Where is your sense of decency for health, wellbeing and whatnot??”
He shrugs. “Sorry bro. My bad. ”
“Go on home. I would stay back with them.”
I turn and head back into the house.. not waiting for him to reply.
Junior watches his back as he leaves, his hands caresses his jaws but he had a smile on his face and glint in her eyes. .
He wasnt thinking about the punch he almost got.
No….far from it.
He was thinking about the taste of her lips..
Her nipples and the softness of her twin towers.
The thought of her squirming underneath him made the boy between his legs move a little just now…
The taste of her essence as he touched her there with his fingers was enough to drive every sane man mad..
“Oh sweet Amara… my desire for you is being intensified a million fold. .
Nothing would stop me now from having you….
Nothing even Bruno. .
Not even you…
Ah…..you taste like honey to a dying man..
Your temptress body a thing to die for…
Even that punch would have kept me smiling for days if the heavens within your legs was my reward…”
He looks down at himself noticing bis reaction..
“Down boy. Just a little while more… daddy is gonna bring you home to mama…. just a lil while”..
He laughed and walked home. Whistling a happy tone to himself. …..
“Oh carol carol….what ever would be would be. ………
To be continued. …