I blinked twice… but she didn’t move. She just stood there. Right infront of me, her silky dress hugging her, revealing everything and yet nothing. She swayed from side to side, as though in a slow dance to music only she hears. That only she could move to.
My back was to the wall, silently watching her watch me with those sultry eyes… watching me watch her trail lines over her arms.. cupping herself as one naked … but shyly and innocently tugging at the strap on her dress, revealing smooth delicate shoulders.
My heart increased the tempo in my chest. I was finding it difficult to breath. As the cold from the rain breezed in… I swore under my breath trying to control myself.
But she continued to stand there. . Calling me and yet not calling me. Her eyes were close now.. her arms wrapping her shoulders. ..her hips moving..greeting each side..but her peak. .was hardened. .silky dress showed more that it hids. .. but I stayed where I was. Willing her to move away…far away from me.. for I am a man and hot blood flows within my veins.. and a soothing relieve within her core is all that would safe me from this madness of which I feel…
I turn away… facing the window.. I had to get her out of my mind.. but then I heard something drop. .and then her calm voice vibrated through me…kissing my ears..as my name sweetly purred from her lips…
I turn… and there on the ground was the cloth that shielded her from me.. and all she bore was beautiful..delicate but beautiful.
I swore under my breath again… one long stride at a time I closed the distance between us.. lifting her ..and laid her down..with me on top of her..
Shit!!! I swore again. .. shaking my head, distorting my visions. . Clearing my head..
“Really? You do this to me now…fxxking cupid!!”
“You got no chill..none at all. How you gonna play a brother like that????”… I kept pacing the lenght of the room.
“Why are you talking to yourself??” Amara asked me. Her eyes didn’t leave me.. was she wondering if I had gone stark raving mad within the hour or she just preferred to keep an eye on me…for reasons obviously best known to her.
“Am not” ….I lied. Vivid pictures of naked bodies. Music and symphony escaping from lips…. I shook my head again.. I didnt want to think of it. I never wanted to think of it. All my waking and sleeping moments with visions of Amara hasn’t been this intense..intoxicatingly intense. . And why all of a sudden I feel like I want to roar and the tightening in my pants would rip open soon.
“The rains won’t stop anytime soon” I concluded.
Amara stares outside for a second. It was a mess out there. .. * why did mama decide to go out now…leaving her alone with Bruno.
What if he tried to do something… no one will hear her.. no one will come and save her….. * she sniffed.
I stopped pacing and stare at her…
…*what are you doing Bruno? ?* I shake my head….
“Amara are you cold??” I ask her again
“No… I just had something fly past my nose.” ..
My phone buzzes, I dip my hand into my pocket…
I busy the call.
Buzz buzz Buzzzzzzzzzzz*
“What if it’s my mum that is calling,?”
“Its not”. . I reply.I didnt have time for junior..not now.
“What if it’s an emergency or someone wants to come and pick you “Amara insisted… she looked suspiciously at me.. I sigh ..
“Helo J..what’s up man?” I spoke into the phone. ..rubbing my eyes.
“Guy how far, where you dey…you dey house??”
“Erm..because I wanted to come over. ..you know…and chill. House dey boring.. you home Bruno boy?
“I already said no….”
“Where are you ..then. Don’t tell me you are still at work? Or you never left Amara’s ?”….there was an edge to his voice when he mentioned her name.. I couldn’t place a finger to it..
“No I didn’t “… I narrated the situation to him. He kept quiet. Too quiet…unlike junior I know..
“So that means ….you gonna do it ..right?” That edge again. What was up with him?
“Do what. ..Junior? ” I look up to see Amara leave the room. I walk to the window ..staring at the heavily coats of rain balls smashing against the window and watched as the water level continued to increase..
“Do her. Shag her. Bone her…make her tap out…make her clap. Shit..dude. don’t act dumb. You have been wanting it..now you have the opportunity. ..cold plus rain….makes a good hay in the sack..doesn’t it?” He laughs sarcastically in the background.
“Junior, sometimes I find you completely irritating.”
“Whatever, there is a reason they call you “Bruno the hammer”.. you slid in subtly, hit it and walk out like a boss with a few broken hearts, a few tear drops and a clean suit and not a dent on you. So don’t act like you don’t want to make her tap out…if you haven’t already—-
I cut the call. It was bad enough I was stuck here alone with her. It was bad enough my thoughts are running wild… it is bad enough with the cold…and it would get worse with the long night.. and I didn’t need junior to come and Fxxk my thoughts up some more. No!!! I can’t let this feeling ruin her….No!!! I can’t let her know how messed up my past was…. how bad I have been. I feel ashamed…I feel so very much ashamed..and hurting her is the last thing I want to do to her. I want to protect her…even from me.
Amara walks back into the room after 15 minutes , the room swarm with the scent of a medicated soap. She had just taken a bath. Clean delicate skin…I swallowed.
I sat down on the chair, facing her. Watching her intently. She sat down , far away from me.. too far. It was good. The silence stretched into seconds..and then minutes.. it was deafening.
“Amara, why do I have a feeling that there is something seriously wrong with you…but you don’t want to say it. Am I that bad that you can’t talk to me. You sit very guarded . Your eyes don’t leave the ground and you clasp your hands together and place them on your knees. And every movement I make..you jerk slightly..
…..have you ever been manhandled..or that’s just reflex? ?” Yes talk. Ask questions. Get your mind off her scent. That could work. Good job Bruno..keep talking. Hopefully the blasted rains would stop. Mama would find her way back home. .and I can take my self and junior out the door like I got fire up my arse.
Amara shakes her head. Still not looking at me..
“Did junior hurt you? ?” I needed to ask. Again. I believe that he wouldn’t do anything to hurt her but…..I needed to ask. Cover all my lope holes. There was something off …I wish she could trust me.
I saw a brief shadow pass her face.. a sad look. Maybe ….maybe….
“Hey Ama look at me… did junior hurt you or try to??”
Amara slowly meets my eye…
*what should I say… how should I begin? What different does it make.. don’t you want thesame thing right now? .. aren’t you both thesame. .?
* aren’t you pleased for the rain… just you and me. No one home. No one to save me if you attack. I will only choke in my screams while you savour and plunge into me till you have your fill?
*why do you ask as if you don’t know….
Why do you ask as though you don’t want it ….
*that’s why you are helping me…to go to school. So that when you come to collect…I have no choice than to let you…..
*have you come to collect. Did you send junior away so that you can have me first and send him to come later…
*this is what you want..too right..? All thesame. ..Junior. .you…all thesame. *
“Amara, why are you staring at me like that..
Why won’t you answer the question? ?”
“No he didnt” She lied. You already know. It’s all a game for you both. Her eyes pools as she stares away.. she takes a deep breath. Sighing. Resigning herself to fate… “What ever will be would be “. She sniffs. Once. Twice.
I look around. ..she looked cold. I get up and close the windows. Stopping the air from coming it. I felt the chills to my bones. I sat back down. Her head was bent..hands between her legs. She looked beaten. Broken. My heart broke.
“If only you would talk to me…let me understand what’s going on …let me help you. .Amara??”
I sigh. Maybe I should let her be. I rest my head on the chair… Closing my eyes. Forgetting my predicament for the moment…I fall asleep.
I woke up to chattering. But this wasn’t voices..This was one’s teeths clanging against each other. Amara laid at the far end, on the ground. Her body curled up , hugging herself, wrapper over her body… asleep. But her teeths weren’t. ..and she was shaking. The water had slipped into the palour, probably from the drop-tap-drop leaking roof above her….soaking her.
I rush to her. I felt her skin. She was cold as ice. I gather her into my arms,and lifted her off the ground. The palour seemed too cold. I walk into the small hall way and kicking in the first door I see.. and walked in.
Why didn’t she get up. Didn’t she feel it?
There a small bed laid at the end..I carefully lay her down. I close the windows. And watched her for a few minutes..
I couldn’t possibly let her sleep like that. She kept shaking…
“Amara, wake up. Change your cloths it’s wet.” I shook her but she didn’t wake up. “Amara??”
Another few minutes. Nothing.
“Damnit”.. I rub my hands over my face. “God help me”!
I began undressing her. Ignoring the throbbing between my legs as each clothing left her body. As skin touches her skin… my hands on her hands, face, legs, thighs..undressing her…. the harder it became for me to concentrate. .and the more unbearable my trousers became..
She laid there..bare. without clothing.. I get up..turning away. My bulge making me difficult to walk. I picked a wrapper folded at the foot of the bed and cover her with it, putting her wet cloths on the stool.
Indeed, if I had seen a beauty before now….Amara was the fairest beauty of them all. I was going crazy staring at her… even though she was covered now… but flashes of her soft skin beneath my fingers could drive any man insane..and bring kings to their knees.
Her shaking didn’t stop. She stirred.. coughs a little. Turns. Curling up to fold herself again.. and as quickly as she moved. ..she sat up. Her eyes shoots open.. and both our eyes meet. And darted around the room, quickly too quickly… then I lower my eyes. Stepping backwards… she stares down, realising she was without cloths…and her chest laid bare. She grabs the cloth, covers herself. Her eyes filled up immediately and tears flowed…
“Oh no no no no…no no” I rush to her but she jumps away from me..
“Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me ….how dare you take advantage of me….” She cried..
“No.Amara . Stop. I swear I didnt do anything to you. I didnt touch you…not in the way that you think. You were shaking…you are still shaking. You slept off. You got soaked. It’s raining. You are cold. I woke you up but you didn’t . I had to….
…..I swear I didnt. I would never hurt you. ” I pleaded. Please don’t think that off me. Please. I silently pleaded.
“Then why am I n-naked” ? She wispered.
“Your cloths were soaked. The roof is leaking. You were cold as ice. I couldn’t let you stay in them. I didnt know what to do. Am.sorry. Please. ..I didnt do anything..”!
She didn’t stop shaking. Infact it increased. She grabs the wrapper higher to her chin. She didn’t believe me. Her eyes tells a million stories. ..and one of them was fear..
“You could catch leukemia. Especially if the cold gets to your bones. It kills. You are shaking..Amara, you are shaking bad.”
I looked for an extra wrapper and gave it to her. She takes it but doesn’t take her eyes off me as she covers herself again. Her teeths didn’t stop greeting each other.. her nose smoked.. her lips expelled more.
I knew the only other option was body heat. And I knew she wouldn’t like the idea. She was going to freak out. She was going to get scared. She has every right to. I was scared. ..too. but they was no chance in hell I was going to let her freeze to death.
I look at her …
“Listen to me carefully Amara, if you don’t get some warmth into you…its going to be bad. Extremly bad for your health. I know you are scared of me and don’t trust me. But think about you for a second. Please…
I would just take off my cloths… and warm you with my body heat. That’s all
I promise. …”
Her eyes popped out of sockets.
*liar. Lair!!!!!* a voice screamed in her head.
“I promise”! I repeated.
*Bruno do you want to promise that*? I heard the voice in my head ask me…*little Bruno has a mind of his own*…it teased me ..
“Shut up” I muttered.
Amara raises an eyebrow. I shook my head.
“Amara, you can’t stay like that. Look at you. Please. ..just come here.. “.
The room had grown dark. It was deep into the night already. I didnt wait for her to answer. I carefully and quickly undressed myself as i climbed on the bed. I crawled to her and pulled her …into my arms. She struggled but I didn’t let her go… I held her still till she calmed down. I rubbed my hands over her back. Her arms…and hugged her close and tight to me… untill I felt her tension lessen and her shaking subside. …and her hot breath on my chest. I loosened my tight grip but still held on to her..
Amara closes her eyes. Her heart pounding.. fear gripping her toes. And all that went through her mind was soon….Soon. .He would turn me over and have me. That’s what he wants. That’s what he always wanted. This was just a trick . A ploy to get me naked with him ..alone.
*then have me already and let me go. Even if I struggle and scream. No one will hear me. It would all be over before mama comes to save me..*…
And then she felt him stir. .. by her thighs….she felt him harden… she closes her eyes tight..
As I held her.. naked skin to naked skin… as I rubbed and chased the cold away with my arms…all that my senses picked up were… how intense our passion could be…right here..In this moment if only…if only I replace my hands on her hands with kisses. And my warmth…with more warmth that comes from within…
I shook my head…
*stop thinking Bruno. Don’t think.. stop it.*
I channeled my thoughts elsewhere
I thought of football. I thought of fish and dogs. I thought of books. Boring long books. I thought of fighting. I thought of hot dogs and doughnut. ..No!!!
Retracing my steps…
Water…yes… lots of water. Basketball. Bad economy. Junior.. No!!!
Money..yes..money. buhari. Animals. Aha!!! Movies… games of thrones. .. oh..yes..”Ghost”. Patrick sweizz , clay pot making… hands against hands. Her legs wrapped about him. Bed. No!!!
“Dirty dancing”. ..body against body..lower torso against flesh..Dance. ..exotic….music…..
I stirred. .and stirred some more. Till I was as granite. I felt her tense..
“Shit” ….I swore. Closing my eyes
“Ignore it. Go to sleep. Just don’t move..please”…
I knew if she made a move..albeit innocently. ..it would send the wrong signal..and that would be my undoing. I was a breath away from losing it all.
I laid there. Hard as a stone. Eyes opened for hours until i heard her fall asleep and felt her muscles relax.
But sleep evaded me… I couldn’t sleep. Not with her this close and me awake…fully awake between my legs…
I knew this was my punishment. …or was the big guy testing me..
“You gat no chill …none whatsover” I muttered under my breath. I stared into her face …peaceful. beautiful. “Amara… you drive me insane…if only you knew how much “…I wispered into the air… and then I closed eyes…but the little guy refuses to go to sleep..
To be continued. …