The Brat And The She-Devil $Chapter One

The Brat and the she – devil! !

    # Chapter one
This lagos traffic was crazy.
We have been stuck on one spot for over 2 hours. 
I swear one could go to sleep, wake up, maybe even get pregnant and give birth and this traffic would just be getting warmed up. I mean, I am still trying to understand it… is it that there are too many cars on the streets of lagos or…there are actually too many cars? It didn’t just make sense …with the hype of lagos of being the land of opportunities and the Governor claiming Bawse,  shouldn’t this be a problem to be tackled?  Or Well he doesn’t get stucked in traffic.
I shake my head .
I look at my time..It was a few minutes past 3pm.

My flight was in another 3 hours. 
Gosh I hated lagos!!!
 I have been here for  what? over 3 years..

And  boy was i glad to be relocating..
I had been praying and waiting for a transfer..

Thankful my prayers were heard.
In it’s fondly called, 

If you had to meet up anything .. say work, appointments,  family functions, even dates…  you  would have to wake up much more earlier than you want to.
And you might still end up going home later than you ought to.
So you are basically tired all through and there ain’t no escaping it.
And God knew I wasn’t built to be a super hero.
Nooooooo! !!
I want to wake up by 7am latest and be at work before 8am no hassle.

I want to close by 6pm and have enough time to go out and crab a bite, hang out with a movie in the cinema..go for a party or go clubbing if I wanted to …and stay out late..and still have time to get a decent sleep when i get home and be rested and the circle starts all over again.
But here? C’mon!!
You can’t even sleep till 5am..unless you want to be stuck in traffic for hours and what’s worse..when your home is so far from your place of work.
It literally sucked.
And I hated every part of it..
The crowd and congestion..the not-so-easy-life and hardly any time to make your money and enjoy it in peace without the stress of the city.
Well maybe because it only applies to us.
The Elites and Governors and their officials obviously live in the high end of this Lagos so…guess they jet it all the way or have the road cleared for their sakes. ..
Oh Darn!!! They probably  have special routes they take that not even a pin of traffic exists.
Hay!!! God knows I must make money and get there oh! !! I guess Bruno Mars was singing my mind when he said “I want to be a billionaire so frigging bad, to have all of the things I never had ”  …and erm… the part where he said ” I want to be on the cover of forbes magazine, standing next to Oprah and the Queen”  that was my jam.
 That was my motivation. 
I love the city…I mean I love lagos it has its perks and beauty and great things. I do love it,  but..Mehn! !
The hustle is hard for the hustlers.
I sigh again.
I flip the magazine I was reading trying to while away time somewhat.
It didn’t matter I left home early hoping to beat this darn traffic..

Now I have to suffer through it.
“Just for today..girl..leave through just for today”…I console myself.
The Horning was like a misplaced serenade to my ears.

I pick up my phone and decided to listen to music ..placing my ear piece in my ears..tapping my fingers and feets to the beat as I nod my head with the flow.
Despite it all.

I sort of loved my life.
I was the youngest and brightest female in the company.

I graduated with honours and the best of my class from one of Nigeria’s prestigious University and proceeded to do Masters abroad.
An Economist by discipline, Masters in accounting..

I worked in a bank after I came home and served my father’s land. 
I proceeded to work as a chartered accountant after another two years in a financial firm.
I was one of the most sought after and I was good in what I do. No doubt.
I am beautiful and intelligent. 

Quite articulate but feisty and a no nonsense person.
There is a reason I am the way I am.
Often times..

Men had tried to oppress women,delegating them to the background and to the kitchen calling it their only place..

And that they can’t amount to anything other than be good in bed, the other room if you will,  good in the kitchen, that is be able to make a darn good meal, and birth children  and submit to their husbands in everything ‘Submission’ means.
I roll my eyes.
I hated it, especially when they said “We couldn’t be equal to men”
I cringed hearing that.
“We couldn’t do what they do or did and excel in it”
So I told myself. 
“I am gonna prove them wrong”

And by God I did.
I got into school,i let go off all distractions, i scaled through. .topping my class.. and ended up as one of the best graduating students.

I didnt relent..
I became what I I could easily equate myself to any man. 

I earned my achievements without laying down  on my back for no man.

So I didnt give a shit about them.

I didn’t need them really.
I was my own person. My own boss…’Sort off’.. And I got to where I am with hard work literally.
I work hard. I make my money.

I don’t need a man to control me..

Infact they felt quite intimidated by me..and I relish in that fact.
Life was good!
I sigh again.
I was so glad to be relocating to Port Harcourt. 

Never been there but I hear it’s quite okay..maybe in a few years it would become as congested as lagos but for now I would make do.
I had left the bank and the financial firm for a year now.

I needed something more flexible and more pay..and more time for myself.
The consulting firm /social media house company in lagos  was just it.

With my flair for social media consulting and managerial skills . .I was a good candidate and to be honest…..I loved it.
I got to do what I loved.

I got to meet people and make their dreams come through. 

I got to have time for myself too.

I got to travel every now and then..

And the perks of the jobs was just divine.
As a social media manager,my job was quite simple but tasking.

I have to give that spunk and spark to your company, do alot of rebranding..and reconstructing.

To attract consumers/customers..keep them engaged..interested and keep them coming back.
Everyone loves a good advertising..
And a year later..I am being transfered to Port Harcourt for a two years contract to do a rebranding work for a construction/House designing company.. “J.K Andrews Construction And Housing Design Company’.
Owned by one of the top politician in Nigeria who had hands in every profitable business in the country as well as a few oil blocks scattered across the country. 
And that was equaling a multi – billion naira upcoming company amongst many others..well it would be when i am done with it.
They had called specifically requesting for me.. well specifically for the best hands who can make the company into what they wanted it to be….awed in the eyes of others. 
Another company i  had done good job for referred me to them or them to me. Either way works.

“Something about hard work or good work pays” I smile 
Okon ‘ s voice broke into my thoughts..
“Hain which kain thing be this naw?” speaking in the pidgin dialect. 
I knew he wasn’t talking to me so I ignored him.
He winds down and flagged down a motorcyclist passing through the narrow way only them could venture.
“My brother abeg…you see wetin dey cause this traffic?” He says waving his hand indicating the throng of cars bumper to bumper against each other
The motocyclist had slowed down..

He wasnt carrying a passenger so he gave him a minute of his time.
“Na police oh! Accident happen for front..between one truck driver and taxi man. One woman goods just scatter everywhere  for ground nyakata!!! People they fight dey burst eye ,dey punch belle, one break head, blood just dey fly everywhere.
Police dey separate , people dey shout,  road just block because cars just park anyhow.

Police won arrest.. people dey bribe police, money dey exchange house people dey shout, stepping on that woman’s goods, see tomatoes, pepper , fish, meet everywhere .
The woman done hold the police man for nicka and person wei jam am crush him goods.. she be strong woman oh..chai, she fit dey beat her husband for house see how she wedge both of them for nicka… belike say she be police woman for her former life ” he laughs “Oh boy eh I done watch drama tire I say make I dey go my brother, no movement till tori end oh”
He briefly summarised the cause.
I wondered how he was able to deduce it all at once..

But being a typical nigerian. was expected.
Stopping and enjoying the scene was just what they were good at.

Better get first hand of the story than being told.


I shake my head again.
“You mean am?” Okon asked
“My brother na so oh…” He replied with a thick yoruba accent..
“Hain that means before road go clear na die..”…okon said more to himself than to the man
“Just off car relax..or you stop bike begin go your way…abi madam no go mind I go carry am for back…”…He said indicating me and tapping his okada seat and smiling at me
“Abi her ekebe no go enter my okada,  chai fine woman….oyinbo pepper, better pikin” he says 
If I had to reply him he would have a bad day for the rest of the day if not his life but I wasn’t in the mood to suffer his foolishness. 
I didnt bother justifying that with a reply.
Okon laughed, ” E be like say you won dig your grave oh. Leave my madam oh, because if she start with you, you go wish say ground open for you you die na na na”
Good thing Okon knew me very well.
The horns of other motocyclist coming behind him prompted him to continue on his way..
“Okay naw”…He said waving and speeding off
“Thank you my guy”.okon waved back.
“Bullocks!!!!” I cursed.
“Hmmm madam, I hope we make it in time for your flight…” he switched back to English.
“Hopefully..we may if this clears up some..”..I replied staring out of the car window
I go back to reading my magazine.
We were there for another two hours and I was literally fuming.

Tired and not in the best of moods.

By the time we reached the crux of the traffic..

Remnants of the spoils still littered around..

People still gathered.

The bashed cars had been moved to the side to allow other citizens go through..
The woman was wailing by the corner..

Holding on to the culprit of her dismay..

The policemen were dragging among themselves..

Apparently money had exchanged hands but not everyone was carried..

It was a poor sorry sight.
Okon slowed down abit, to enjoy the moment.
I didn’t look up from my magazine.

“Step on it okon,  I am already pissed…don’t provoke me more..” I flip the page of the magazine 
“Don’t worry in due time you can buy the home video. .I bet some twisted director would get inspired by this and equally bag desperate upcoming actors to do the flick and sell it cheap for good measure..”
He laughed and sped up when he got an opening.

“Madam you are funny oh” 
We got to the airport a little after my departure time.

Luckily for me,the flight got delayed.

Apparently some confederates where enroute to board the plane as well.
“Hain thank God oh Madam, if not waiting for another flight would have been something else”
“Hmmm. ” I murmur
“Okay Madam, safe trip, ”
“Bye bye oh”
“Okon we both know that you are happy to be rid of me, no more Madam screaming your head off, Madam giving you a hard day and making your day miserable.  So I know Okon, you don’t have to pretend” I tell him without looking at him
“Ha Hain Madam” he says scratching his head.
“Take care of yourself. ” I tell him working away.
I knew I didn’t have eyes at the back of my head  but I could swear I would see him smiling and jumping for joy if I turned. 
But I didn’t.  Maybe because I didn’t want to see it.
I wasn’t  bad person..really I wasn’t. 
I had sent my things earlier.

I had just an over night bag.
We touched down Port Harcourt at about 9pm and i was totally beat.
Apart from having an official car..

Stay in a staff house for VIPS

I was getting extra bonus packages which was super awesome. .which I was told was all in the acceptance of the job.
There was one one glitch that wasn’t pleasing in my ears.
I was getting a male PA.
A frigging Male PA.
Name: Brian Andrews
Why didn’t they just transfer my PA to Port Harcourt with me…but MD wouldn’t allow it.
I liked Tina.

She was smart.

She knew what her duties were and left little to complain.
I knew I was a hard ass but..

She took everything in good faith.

You know what they say..

” What can’t kill you will only make you stronger?”..
And over the years I had learnt to appreciate her little effort. And she was a good PA.

I really don’t like men.
Okay i didn’t hate them per see, I like  men okay,  I mean.. who doesn’t?  

I liked John,  …my first crush.
I liked Sebastian,  he was okay .
And I liked Chukurdi during my service year.. he was such a cute guy.
But you know…I only liked them from a distance. ..because I didn’t want to be distracted.
What i meant was that i didn’t like men that way when it comes to working environment.
They usually claim superiority..and I wonder how they would tend to react when a woman was above them.

But I wouldn’t care less.
If they did their job well. I am sure we wouldn’t have any problem.
But that was never really the case.

As I begun to rise in my position and achievements …I get alot of stumbling blocks from males who felt a woman like me shouldn’t be given the position and achievements I had gotten.
They felt that the highest I should go should be an errands girl for some big boss, help to file papers and clean up messes and bend over when they need me to.
So it’s a slap to their faces when I not only bag awards, I command respect amongst my other female colleagues , that I walk into a place and despite exuding good sexual appeal because I am fine…

When I open my mouth I spew intelligent and brilliance and when I put my hands and head to work…it turns to magic.
So it’s a slap to their face to see that I rise and keep rising and a few people like my MD realised that I am better than a few men put together so he gives me the respect he knows I deserve …so I didnt need any validation from other people. 
I worked hard to get to where I am..and I would keep working hard, and the fact that I had to let go of other leisures just so I could get ahead in life was the hardest decision in my life.
So.. I didn’t need some three legged person to come and tell me I can’t be anyone I wanted to be or I can’t be at the top just because I got two firm breasts,a rocking body and talk like a woman.
Hell!! I was a woman. I am a woman and I like the fact that I can be equal to them.
My parents didn’t put me through the hard work to have me curl back into my shell and be beneath a man and throw away my dreams. 
They wanted me to be something greater than I am and by God I made sure I achieved that and I would keep doing so.
And I wouldn’t suffer any man who would dare try to make me feel less than I am. No way.
God help that man.
Yes, I hated men who would try to pull me down or who wouldn’t do their jobs but would want me to be a woman and cut them some slacks or better…
Hell No!!!

I walk through the airport , scanned through  the faces with placards to see my name.
I was told that my new PA would pick me from the airport and have my work schedule and informations and projects I needed with him.
I hated starting  any new projects without being apprised of recent developments or changes of the company I would be working in. 

It messes up my confidence.
I keep scanning walking towards the crowds of people at the other side of the line….
I see him..standing clueless among the crowds of people , waving the card at everyone who passed.
I walk up to him.

He looked old.

Not white-grey-hair-old but old enough not to be someone’s PA.
I mean, 

I wonder if I could scream at him if he messes up and don’t get smacked or shouted down.
But my opinion.
“Madam Adora chime? ” he asked
He definitely sounded old too.
“Yes please..”I reply with a brief smile.
“You are welcome madam..make we de go”.. he says with smiles
He looked around, puzzled.
I followed his stare then I read his mind.
“I sent my luggages ahead. I came with only this”…I held it up a little for him.
He stretches out his hand to take the bag.

It wasn’t heavy.

I shook my head.
And i follow him to the car as he began to walk forward, slouching abit .
Yep..awkwardly too old for a PA.
Who hires these people?

Whatever happened to the criterias?
I was wondering to myself.

But I kept quiet instead.
He opened the car door and I slid in.

Relaxed..I sighed. It was hot. So when he turned on the Ac I was grateful.
He put the car on drive and then pulled out of the parking area and we proceeded with our journey.
“Can I have the mail and my work schedule sent from the lagos office please?” I cross my leg , unbuttoning my jacket
No reply.
“Can I have what’s to be given to me?

Mails, work schedule and appropriate information and company details I am to be acquainted with please…I would like to go over them as soon as possible”..
He looks at me from the front mirror..

“Er madam I no sabi wetin you mean..”
I was getting visibly impatient..

“Mr Brian…don’t tell me you didn’t print it as it was mailed to you? I think that was your first pot of duty…and you seemed to have failed?

Hand it over if you will….I don’t have the patience..”  I look at him
He seemed amused..
“But madam…why you de call me that one…my nam……..” he was saying but I cut him off
“Are you slow or just daft Mr Brian Andrews…”? I had to ask.
“But madam …wetin I do?”

Then he suddenly paused and seemed he recollected something
“Oooh you mean that paper card wei I carry collect you??”

I winced with his constant use of pidgin.

Even my driver okon back in lag spoke an occasional English and knew to never speak pidgin with me.
I was getting pissed.
He laughs a short laugh..
He fishes with his free hand on the passenger’s seat where he flung it to as soon as we got in…
He gets it without taking his eyes off the road and takes his hand back and gives it to me..
“Madam take am!! See me oh…I no even remember say nai that one you mean…I con de Jones for here…”.. He shook his head and continued laughing.
I hit his hand away angrily causing the placard to slip and fall to the ground…
He seemed shocked.
He couldnt possibly be serious.!!!
“What nonsense is this …?”
What ignorant fool did they send for a PA. …???
“Mr Brian,  it’s apparent you don’t know first thing what your job is…and to seriously show me a paper for mails means that you aren’t just daft but in need of a re-orientation. Infact!!!”
I fished for my phone in my bag.

I was so not ending with this old fool.
I dialed the lagos office..

Got through to the secretary. .
“Yes..Please patch me through to Tina…”i spoke into the receiver as the secretary picked.
“Yes I’ll hold” I tell her
I threw daggers at the man infront of me…
“But madam wetin dey make you dey provoke? Them tell me say make I go airport go wait for you…

Them come give me that paper card wei be like them paste something ontop …say na your name.

Say the person wei the thing or name resemble go see am come meet me. Them tell me say the person wei go come meet me…naim that person na the madam oh. And I done do everything wei them ask even stay dey wait you. Nai wetin I give you be that oh, me I no sabi again oh…”

He kept talking.
“Mr Brain or whatever you call yourself…I am sure you are not blind to see me on the phone. Is something wrong with you as well? Don’t infuriate me more. Rubbish!!!”
I shout at him..
“Hain madam take am easy no vex….”
His constant pidgin was making me even worse.

I felt like pulling out my hairs and ears.
He continued talking.
“Madam why you still dey call me something wei no belong to me. Weitin my mama and papa dey call me no be that. My na…………”
Oh dear Lord, this guy has no idea who I am and how my temper flies
“Shut up!!!!! Just shut the hell up and drive.

Let me just hear one more sound…a tiny little sound from that mouth of yours…..and God help me i would be your worst nightmare….”I threaten him.
He shuts up but murmurs some obscene inaudible comments
I didn’t even bother..
“Yes Tina what the hell?” I scream into the phone
“Ma’am…what is the matter? Was something wrong the travel arrangements,  your pick up or your apartment? I made sure they got apprised of your settling arrangements. …isn’t it to your satisfaction?”
I’ll be damned. Fools, all of them.
“On the contrary, that’s not the issue Tina.

The point is i am so infuriated I swear I can break your neck if you weren’t so far off..”
Sharp intake of breath.
I wasn’t sure where it came from..

The other end of the line or the man driving infront of me..
“Were you not supposed to have mailed the necessary documents and reconstructing changes to the new PA, plus every other thing I am supposed to be apprised off plus what and what he needs to know on how I work and what my schedule should look like…???

Were you not supposed to compile certain reports as well..??

Why isn’t it in my hands as directed Tina? 

Have you suddenly lost your touch…or you simply are trying to get me pissed..

Because I am beyond pissed and I can assure you…I may not be in lagos but I can make you burn young lady” I spat
“Hain…my goodness!!!” she exclaimed..
“But ma’am I did do as directed.

Infact this was sent last night..

And I called and comfirmed that it was gotten and even printed out by the PA..So I don’t know what it is you are saying”
“Are you telling me I don’t know what I am saying…have you lost your senses Tina??”
Unbelievable! !!!
“No ma’am but…”
“But what? The fool for a PA that came to pick me up apparently has no irking of what a PA is nor is he aware of any documents he is to bring.. which implies that one of you is either lying…or both of you are equally stupid and that’s not sitting well with me.. and it would be worse if I get to work monday morning completely geared-less. .
So I don’t know how you want to do it or intend to make it happened , for your sake you better make sure I get those documents in my hands latest tomorrow morning and I don’t care that it is Saturday and no one would be working Saturday I don’t care. ..get it down here..any magical way you want and one more thing Tina, call the HR department and ask them to get me another PA.. I need a replacement PA Asap, this one is lousy, clueless and stupid and you know how I hate those three combinations”
I cut the call before she started to protest.

I knew very well what she was about saying.
Today is Friday. . No one works on Saturday. .

Well that was her punishment. .

She should have made extra sure..
I notice the constant stare from the mirror..

I didnt give a shit if he lost his job as a PA..
He should have taken special precaution to know his job even if he was on an entry level.
I was told he had never worked as a PA before so why the devil’s balls did they assign him to me?. Did they think I was on some tutor duties, i was here to do a job they should have gotten me some experienced person.
They said he went to school and knew he onions but…this person here was a shy away from a clown. 
I didn’t need a slow daft human tagging along with and behind me when he is especially clueless. 
That’s a dent in my A-game. .

And if he is gone and I got a better replacement..That was just fine for me.

I wouldn’t even feel guilty.
But they wouldn’t have a choice.

They needed me so..

A replacement wouldn’t hurt or shouldn’t.  
If they needed their company to get to the level and heights they wanted international as well as nationally and especially get the great online presence they desire..they had better bend to my own rules.
We there they liked it or not.
I ignored him for the rest of the ride.
He pulls into the suburbs area of Port Harcourt 

Which was referred to as Government Residential Area..or simply put, the area where the Elite, rich or semi rich people stay, with their spawns and spouses
Away from the not so polished residents and areas.
It was a staff estate,  Golf Estate, with maaximum security due to the fact that one or two royals might send their wards or kids.
Other than that, people who worked in places like Mobil, chevron, Total, Shell in Port Harcourt  were housed there so you could imagine.
Each had its only district section.
Once the security made the necessary validation , it opened its gate and flagged us in.
He drives down a few flats and then stopped at Apartment 36.
He gets out to open the door and hands me a set of keys.

I take it and brush past him, opening the door to let myself in.
It was immaculately cleaned and adequately furnished. 

No matter I was told to just come with my cloths.

I didn’t need to think of furnishing. It was one of those homes called “Home” with everything I mean everything in it.

It was just beautiful and homely.
I was liking the change of environment more and more..

I went to the bedroom and noticed my boxes had arrived as expected and neatly stacked by corner.
I check.

“Well at least they did have the decency not to snoop around” I chuckled
The locks were still intact. 
I look around the house.

It seemed as though it was recently cleaned, It smelled off air freshners and mama – lemon and bleach..with something else I couldn’t place.
I walk into the kitchen..and open fridge.
I laugh.
Ofcourse, what did I expect?

Filled with food? 

What are they…my mother or my nanny?
I shake my head.
I notice a side telephone and a pamphlets that had names of resturants and home service numbers…

My tummy began to rumble..
I pick out a menu and then order.

I looked back at the stack of boxes and igroaned.
Tomorrow. ..tomorrow!! 
Today I was just gonna shower, eat…and watch movies.
I come back to the palour and pop up on the chair.
I notice a looming shadow outside..the door
You have got to be kidding me.
I sigh. 
I get up and open the door.
“And why are you still here Mr Brian?Are you planning on upsetting me more with your lingering presence?
He was rested on the bummer of the car and stood up on me opening the door…
Scratching his head. .
“Er…incase madam need me to do anything again..nai make I dey wait?

If madam won chop I fit carry am go wei him go see better solid food….”

He smiled, swinging his hands as though delivering cookies in a platter of gold.
Seriously he thinks I would want to bear another second in his presence?  He must be smoking something really new.
“I will order in, i have no more need of your annoying presence, you can do away with yourself Mr Brian.

Have a good evening.”
I shut the door shutting out his words..
I wasn’t going to wait for his reply.
I sigh.
Yes I sigh alot.
Going back to the sitting room i pick up the remote.

Life just got way easier.
The only thing I needed to do was to stuck the house with food supplies.
Tomorrow I will do that.
Unpon remembering I went to the room and got my phone out of my bag, dailing to get Tina.
“Wasn’t it common sense for that girl to get back to me and apprised me how she is rectifying the situation? ” I wondered out loud
But her number was unreachable. 

“Oh Bullocks! !!” I exclaimed 
I gave up after countless tries . 
My order came in about 20 minutes later.

I then settle for a series I loved to watch and they were just showing on MnetSeries..
“One Tree Hill”
My love for Lucas though!!!

I groan.
He was another guy I had a crush on…and then Trey songs with his red sexy kissable lips and for older guys?

I sink deep into the chair,my legs under my soft button as I digged into my food.
Today was Friday. 

Tomorrow was Saturday 

One day inbetween before Monday. .

I better make the most of it.
And I knew I was going to love this new change.
Good bye lagos…
PH. .you are going to love me.
I laugh.
Oh….”Lucas Scott, one day one day I am going to meet  soneone like you and I’ll  fall hopeless inlove with him,it would be like magic, chemistry right from the first day and we would live happily ever after ” I gushed.

My thoughts go back to work.
If Tina doesn’t get me my documents before Monday. ..I would skin her alife.
And what kind of PA was that…they had better replace him or else we are going to have a big problem. .
But for now…Today…I would enjoy my  peace and freedom. .
Monday…work begins…and I couldn’t wait to be awesome .
#StephanieEgberike #Writes #TheBratAndTheSheDevil  #Chapter one  

Chapter two coming up.
Ps : We met Adora,who do you think about her? 
You want to see what this series is about .? Well stick around.
I promised two chapters this week right? 
So don’t go anywhere.
#StephanieEgberike #Writes #sweetness #Allthingsfinery #thesweetperspectives 


9 thoughts on “The Brat And The She-Devil $Chapter One

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