LOVE IN PHOTOGRAPHS

#CUPIDJUNE💝💘

#LOVE IN PHOTOGRAPHS💘

#STORY23

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I want to know what love is, I want to fly on eagle wings, I want to soar high up the heavens , I want to be a princess and leave in the castle, I want to be inlove, bask in the bliss of love and have someone who loves me back as much as I love him.

I just want to know what love is and not just think it, see it and wish it.
I want to know what love is.

But all I have come close to love, is only love in photographs .

You see, I have never been inlove, not once, but I have seen the love people shared, I have seen the love my parents had, it was heaven, it was beautiful, it was bliss.

They smiled into each others eyes, they laughed with genuine happiness in their eyes, they kissed each other with such pure love and they loved each other till the other breathed their last and the other followed.

And all I have left of them are these pictures, this love they had as I stare at them in the photographs in which they took, the only evidence of their love, their undying love towards each other.

And I wanted a love as beautiful as this, I wanted a love as strong as this, I wanted a love that I could capture in a photograph that the lenses of my camera can pick out, I wanted a love that even when I wasn’t here , or alive walking the earth, someone can take up our pictures and smile at our loving faces and say this….”I want a love like this, I want a love as beautiful as this.”

You see, I wanted to know what love is,but all the love I came close to was just in the photographs . But I want to love and be loved.

I wanted it all.

I wanted it all.

So when I ran into him, that beautiful stranger that whisked me off my feet, I felt that this was it, this was the love I wanted , needed,desired. This was the love I have been waiting for .

And I fell hard for him,i fell for his words,i fell for this body,and I fell for his soul ..and I was happy, yes I was happy.

But sometimes the euphoria of happiness can be an illusion

Because I never saw the writings on the wall,I never felt the ground shaking when the earthquake began, I never felt the rain on my face when the heavens opened up and poured. I never felt the cracks on the wall and I didn’t see the building coming down, but at the end of the day,before it was too late, all I saw was just debris on the ground..and my heart broken to pieces underneath the rumbles of the earth.

No, I never realised that what he felt was just infatuation while I basked in the bliss of the love I had for him.

And so, that ship sailed.

As I stood by my window, watching him go away, I wondered if this was what love was supposed to be, I wondered why love made me cry on most nights, I wonder why loving was hard and that why wasn’t love as easy as everyone had said,I wondered how my parents were able to do it, for long thirty-five years, I wondered if all I saw in those photographs were all a lie, the smiles, the happiness, the joy and the profound love that I felt from them being with them till they died.

I wonder, was any of that real? Because as I stood there by my window watching him leave, I wondered why love was hard.

Yes, loving can hurt, it can hurt . But you see I wanted love so bad that all I thought about was falling inlove ,being inlove and dying inlove, but…This love, this pain I felt within my chest wasn’t the way I envisioned about love .

I didn’t understand why he had to leave, I didn’t understand why he said it was all over , I didn’t understand what he meant when he said he was just passing time and that it was fun.

I didn’t understand that, that was why when my chests constricted and I felt the tears, I didn’t stop it. while the tears followed and I watched him leave …I wondered why love was hard, why love hurt so bad.

I stare at the empty photographs on my table, we never had our love in the photographs taken , he never wanted it, he said it was too cliché and wanted to know why it was important to me…

I told him…it means so much to my parents ,to capture beautiful moments , those memories that can’t be relived and keep them safe not only in your hearts but in a state of art that others might see and be inspired by our love, It was memories we made for ourselves, where our eyes were never closing and where the memories can be freezed in time and where even our deaths can’t take away.. that that Love in Photographs was perfect even in our deaths .

But he had laughed , shaking his head telling me we didn’t need those, that our love was as real as it gets.

But I guess there was a reason why he never wanted our photographs taken, he didn’t want us, he never wanted us

So he took the lid off from us as you would pull the wig from a burning flame and put it out , then he walked out the door and never returned .

I stood there watching him go, I stood there wondering why he let me go, I stood there hoping that he would turn back and tell me he was coming right back home, but I stood there, he never turned…he never did return.

And all i was left where memories of the moments we shared,how he kissed me and how he laughed when he was happy and how I felt so safe in his arms and how I felt this was it.

But loving is hard. It is.

So I turned away from the window and shut the door to that pain forever because holding on never brought me peace but misery.

I am back home, staring at the walls ,wishing for that love that would break through walls,that love that would hold my hands and not let go because staying is all that matters.

But ..maybe those kind of love never existed, maybe mother and father were the last of true loves, maybe love like that never existed.

Or maybe I should let my heart love again and see if maybe this time, this time would be different .

And so I fell inlove again, a familiar stranger he was , someone I had seen one time too many, who smiled when he saw me, who seemed to even like me.

He was sweet,he was gentle ,he was amazing and I knew that…Loving again was the best thing that could have happened to me, because this felt different. It did.

But I guess the difference was the fact that it was a different face,a different heart and a different name .

** CONTINUE READING HERE, LOVE IN PHOTOGRAPHS